Six Nations: Round Three Preview

Ireland v Italy

This is a game Ireland should really win, and win comfortably. Italy may have given England a fright a fortnight ago, but they are no great shakes on the road, and until they find a fly-half from somewhere they’re not going to trouble teams outside their home ground. The trouble is that Ireland tend to give them a bit too much respect. Last season – admittedly in the Flaminio, Deccie picked a horrendously out-of-form Tomas O’Leary at scrum-half, seemingly in a bid to counter the Italian forwards. The result was that Ireland almost lost – Italy were a restart away from winning. Ireland need to be bullish here and go wide early and often. They should forget about nonsense like ‘earning the right to go wide’ and simply play the game at the highest pace they can. Get Sexto flat on the gainline and put the ball through the hands. Do that and Italy will start to fall off tackles, and tries will come.

A more likely outcome is that Ireland start slowly, butcher a couple of chances and get sucked in to a war of attrition. Ireland will probably grind Italy down by a score or two but they should be looking to put this team away.

Verdict: Ireland to win by around 10-12 points.

England v Wales

Judging by the tone of some of the previews of this game, you would be expecting Wales to win by 2 scores or more – Barnesy has said England should be fearful, and the Grauniad were running pieces from the Welsh team of the mid-1980s boasting about how they didn’t respect any of the English players, with a clear line running through to today’s callow and ordinary Red Rose side.

Still, this is Twickers, and England don’t lose by much here – save for the Boks the November before last, they haven’t been far behind on the scoreboard in a long time.

All that said, the Welsh team look far too strong, a combative and skillful pack are getting ball to the destructive backs, which eventually leads to scores. The key to stopping Wales is to slow down the ball and get Mike Philips in a dogfight – this ensures the centres get the ball while static instead of going forward. And the key to beating them is to use their strength against them – have their relatively immobile backs turning around and drifting across by aggressive rucking and carrying then varying the attack with kicking behind, skip passes and hard lines.

Do England have the tools for this? Yes, in the form of Lawes, Wood, Morgan, Dickson, Cipriani, Tuilagi and an intelligent ball-playing 12. Lancaster’s team, however, is unlikely to contain any of those.

Verdict: Wales by 3-5 if Morgan plays and 7-10 if Dowson plays.

Scotland v France

An admirable ballsy selection by Robbo here – teenager Stuart Hogg is rewarded for his entertaining and effective cameo against Wales. John Barclay is back and with 2 genuine opensides in the team, expect Scotland to try and make this a dogfight at ruck time.

Mini Greig Laidlaw holds the 10 jersey and concerns about his defence against the giant French backrow and centres might have led to the re-instatement of Ooooooooooooooohhh Graeme Morrison – its hard to think of any other reason to pick him to be brutally honest.

Even if France do manage to be dragged down to Scotland’s level, its difficult to see them not prevailing. France have quality everywhere and a bench packed with high-class operators and Julien Dupuy. In the unlikely event of them finding themselves in trouble, the replacements will make the difference.

Verdict: We’ll be surprised if France need to go higher than third gear, and certainly don’t expect them to if they are in front. France by 9ish.

by whiffofcordite on February 23, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in England's missing heroes, Ooooooooh Graeme Morrison, Six Nations, Wales are overrated

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 23, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/23/six-nations-round-three-preview/

Ulster Says … All Round to Humph’s for some Plotting!

It is with interest that we have read about and watched the shenanigans in Ulster of late – Brian McLaughlin is being binned after three largely succesful years as head coach – sorry, he is “being offered long-term stability” as, er, assistant to Gary Longwell in the coaching staff. The full sordid affair is laid bare in this cringe-inducing press conference:

Humph is being rightly panned for the ramshackle nature of the announcement, which stands in great contrast to the majority of his work as director of rugby at Ravenhill. However, this Ulster fan sees some method in the apparent madness – since 2007, Ulster have been on a journey which they hope will culminate in bringing the HEC back to Belfast – I’m sure no-one needs reminded that’s where it first landed on Irish shores – and they need a boost to get there.

Let’s start this tale in October 2006 – Ulster are reigning Celtic League champions, and have opened their Heineken Cup campaign with a 30-3 stuffing of Toulouse. The HEC itself is enjoying a well-sodden winter in Limerick and Ulster have genuine ambitions of adding it to the Celtic League trophy come May.

Fast forward 12 months later – Ulster have only won one more HEC game, endured a disappointing finish to the CL and have lost coach Mark McCall after being thumped by Gloucester at Former Fortress Ravenhill. By Christmas, they are bottom of the CL and at their lowest ebb. The province that swept all before them in the 1980s were now worse than Connacht. It was Time Zero.

Into this mess walked Matty Williams, a man whose perfect teeth and blow-dried hair couldn’t fail to make a difference. The players were wracked by failure and crushed under the pressure of trying to live up to Munster. Matty came in, with his familiar sunny disposition – a bit of “come on lads, you aren’t that bad, have some fun” got Ulster stabilised. The playing staff were decimated by the summer exodus in 2008, but Williams managed to hold on to Paddy Wallace, Andrew Trimble and Rory Best – the Ulstermen who, along with young Stephen Ferris, would constitute the core of the side and give some much-needed continuity.

Williams’ next season was fairly underwhelming, but it was clear that Ulster seemed to have got the ship moving in the right direction – Matty’s job was essentially done. There was genuine shock when he got the boot for the Humph/Longwell/Doak/McLaughlin axis, but it was exactly what Ulster needed – a structure was put in place that would work to build the club off the pitch and in the Academy, and it was being run by a cult hero. The identity of the provincial set-up was now firmly one of Ulster, with the management, the coaching staff and the backbone of the team all local, and driven by the memory of 1999.

Upgrade work at Ravenhill, better (albeit, not good) marketing efforts to attract a wider fan base, using the available financial muscle and squad upgrades were Humph’s job. Nurturing a crop of highly talented youngsters was Longwell and Doak’s job; and picking the team and winning games was McLaughlin’s. But it was fairly clear where the power lay – and he was upstairs watching his brother in the 10 shirt.

Every season under McLaughlin, Ulster have improved on the pitch. In his first HEC, they won in England (when Andrew Trimble out-Bathed Bath) and but for playing Stade a day late in front of nobody may have picked up the extra point they needed to sneak into the knockout stages. The next year, they beat Biarritz, did the double over Oooooooooooooooohh Bath, and made the quarter-finals for the first time since they won the thing. A regret-laden defeat to Northampton was the perfect preparation for this year.

Until the absolutely stinking draw was made that is – Clermont and Leicester would be the teams Ulster would have to beat. No-one had much confidence in their ability to make it through, but two of the most memorable performances by an Irish province in Europe (and that’s saying something) were clocked up en route to another quarter-fnal passage.

Off the pitch, progress was also made – Humph secured development funding from the Northern Assembly for Ravenhill, and recruitment has been stellar – Muller, Wannenbosh and Pienaar came last summer and gave the team beef and intelligence. John Afoa is this years marquee signing and is phenomenally good. Longwell and Doak have sent up some excellent players, with Spence, McAllister, Paul Marshall and Gilroy already in the first team, and Luke Marshall, Gaston, Jackson and Henderson sniffing the bench.

It’s this confluence which may have forced Humph’s hand on McLaughlin. This season, Ulster were dire until after the RWC. The training was apparently rudimentary and the patterns listless until the core of the team returned from New Zealand. McLaughlin, without his lieutenants, was an uninspring leader – fans were unhappy and feared the start of the HEC.

The feeling at Ravenhill seems to be that McLaughlin was flattered by Saffa experience and class, and young Irish fearlessness and leadership. The burning desire to win trophies may have left the amiable McLaughlin odd man out. While being Pure Ulster was a virtue back in 2009, now the need is for something different – something of the proven class that a real top-class coach can bring and take a team to the next level, like Joe Schmidt in Leinster for example.

Which is the crux of the matter. As Brian Clough famously said about Alex Ferguson:

“He hasn’t got two of what I have got, and I’m not talking about balls”

Ulster have one HEC, and it has an asterisk – there were no Boshiership teams competing in 1999. Leinster and Munster have two, and infinititely more pedigree.

Ulster can just about live with Leinster winning HECs, but Munster is another thing. To be blunt about it, Ulster Rugby, as an institution, has no respect for Munster Rugby. That’s why they can go down to Thomond Park and win, even in their darkest days in 2008. And it’s also why they are the most dangerous opponent Munster could have drawn in this years quarter-final. It was no co-incidence that the pressure of not being as succesful as Munster blew up the team of 2006.

Now, they want two of what Munster have. And they don’t see Brian McLaughlin as a coach holding the HEC. His methods are not perceived as being at the zenith of European rugby, and thats what Ulster want. Leinster got Schmidt in to take them to the next level, now it’s on Humph to get his man. He’ll want a Vern Cotter, or maybe a Fabien Galthie – someone who can grab this undoubtedly talented team and get two of what Deccie has.

Humph is piling the pressure on himself, but he won’t mind that one bit. Plus, as he knows, it’s better than Radge and Axel piling it on.

by whiffofcordite on February 22, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Brian McLaughlin, Humph, Ulster

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 22, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/22/ulster-says-all-round-to-humphs-for-some-plotting/

Mythbusters!

One of our readers sent us a question on Facebook last week – wow, we really feel we’ve arrived now that we can write that! It was none other than Ronan Lyons, and he asked us:

I’ve stumbled on to an opinion and would like to pass it by some people who actually understand and watch rugby. Have there been two Sean O’Briens over the last 18 months? The one that played up to and including the match against Australia in RWC, who steam-rolled all before him, and the one who has played from the Wales game on, a good player but not one to set the world alight.

We, and others, chipped in with a few possible reasons: that Seanie is maybe a bit knackered, and that, to an extent, teams have found ways of curbing his impact, in particular by tackling him low around the ankles. The most pertinent reason, though, was that O’Brien has had to defer some of his carrying duties to get involved in the dirty work in and around the ruck area. Ireland essentially have three carriers in the backrow, and one of them has to sacrifice their natural game. In New Zealand, it was Jamie Heaslip who did this, but against Wales two weeks ago, he had a hugely effective game carrying the ball, while O’Brien appeared to be playing the role of ‘fetcher’.

The answer being inextricably linked to the make-up of Ireland’s backrow gives us an opportunity to look at two myths that keep coming up around the make-up of the Irish team.

Myth 1. Ireland need a ‘genuine openside’. Without one, our backrow will always struggle.

Myth 2. Ireland’s backs are too small. We should we be putting larger fellows into midfield to compete with the likes of Wales.

Both these myths are reactionary, after recent Irish defeats – both to Wales, as it happens. In the World Cup quarter-final Sam Warburton wreaked havoc at the breakdown, continually slowed down the Irish ball, which stopped their attack at source. Quick ball is the lifeblood of any team, and as we tend to drone on, you could have world class backs from 9 to 15, but if you don’t got quick ball, you won’t see them do much.

Fast forward to now and Wales’ giant three-quarter line have smashed apart Ireland and Scotland. France also have a pretty large back line. Ireland have had ten years of success with quick-footed, diminutive centres (Drico, Dorce and, errrr, Paddy Wallace), and the next in line have similar stature (Earls, McFadden, O’Malley). Is it time for Ireland to look at a new approach and draft in bigger men to play centre?

Waiter! Fetch me some world class 7s on a plate!

The claim that Ireland would be improved by a terrific 7 isn’t without merit. Ireland’s backrow isn’t balanced, for sure. It’s all carriers and no groundhog. Of course we’d love a world class fetcher in there. But amid the clamour from various media pundits (George Hook is like a broken record ) a few key imperatives need to be borne in mind.

You can only play what you have available. The best natural 7 in the country is Shane Jennings, at Leinster. He is a fine provincial player, but even his most ardent fans (we would count ourselves among them) would struggle to make a case for him as a first rate international player. He is in the Leinster Heineken Cup team about 50% of the time these days. Dominic Ryan looks to have some of the key components of a 7, but he’s what we would call a ‘six and a half’, a guy who has some attributes of a 6, and some of a 7. Peter O’Mahony has filled the 7 jersey for Munster, but he’s definitely more of a 6 – he’s too tall to be a dedicated groundhog, though he is a fine breakdown operator. We can’t simply manufacture world-class opensides overnight.

Contrary to popular belief, not every successful team has a genuine 7. New Zealand have McCaw, Wales have Warburton, and so on, but World Cup finalists and Six Nations favourites France don’t. Indeed, the French seem to have a totally different view of how the backrow should look, and it’s worked out well enough for them. They typically set up with a ball-carrier at number 8 (Picamoles, Harinordoquy), and on either flank (it normally doesn’t matter which) station a lineout forward (Bonnaire, Harinordoquy, Jean Bouilhou at Toulouse) and a wrecking ball (Dusatoir, Gorgodze at Montpellier). Sometimes the guy playing on the openside is the guy you’d think would be on the blindside. Sometimes they switch positions. It can get a bit confusing but one thing’s for sure, there ain’t no dedicated fetcher in the French team.

The solution? It’s the gameplan, stupid. Each of Ireland’s starting backrowers are great players in their own right, and none of the alternatives at 7 look good enough to unseat the incumbents. The question is, how can Ireland get the best out of them? We’d suggest they try reduce the number of one-out-from-the-ruck rumbles in to contact, and to offload the ball a lot more than they’re currently doing. This keeps the ball off the floor, and reduces the number of times Ireland have to fight off the likes of Sam Warburton at rucks.

On top of that, it’s a great counter to the low ‘chop tackles’ that defenders are employing to take down the likes of O’Brien and Ferris. The chop tackles leave the carrier with his arms free to get the offload away. That’s the cost of tackling low – and if you don’t make the defender pay it, you’re giving him a free lunch. Leinster have had huge success with their offloading game, where Sean Cronin and Richard Strauss are experts at timing trailer runs onto offloads from Jamie Heaslip, Nathan Hines (last year) and latterly, Rob Kearney. Ulster have developed their game in this direction too – witness Wannenbosh’s sumptuous offload leading to Craig Gilroy’s try against Leicester.

If Ireland are to adopt this approach they’ll need more tight forwards who can handle the ball – Dan Tuohy would be a real option here, and Sean Cronin would need to be sprung from the bench more readily. Of course, you can’t offload every time, and it goes without saying that Ireland need to be phenomenally aggressive when it comes to clearing out rucks – this is something all the provinces excel at; the personnel are there to do it.

Where the deuce is the beef?!

With BOD injured and Dorce pushing on, Ireland’s midfield is in need of renovating anyway – and after the Wales game there have been no shortage of calls to beef it up with size. Bowe to 13 is one much-touted option (Fankie and Brent are in favour), while Oooooooooooohh James Downey is a possibility as a crash-ball 12. A few wrong-headed shouts for O’Brien or Ferris to convert to centre have even been seen on internet fora. It seems the nation is suddenly obsessed with the size of the Irish backs – there’s even a thread on boards.ie called ‘Can Ireland play good attacking rugby in the future without huge centres?’

Size Isn’t Everything. That’s what she said. But again, Ireland have to cut their cloth to what’s available. The only big options at centre are Tommy Bowe and James Downey. There are no Jamie Roberts’ or Aurelien Rougeries just lying around gathering dust. Bowe has very little experience at 13 – which is considered the hardest to defend on the pitch – and has enough to worry about at the moment with his patchy form. As for Downey, well if he was good enough for international rugby it’s highly unlikely he’d be sitting on the Northampton bench behind Tom May. Just because players are big doesn’t make them good. Roberts, Davies and Rougerie are great centres not because they’re big, but because they’re good footballers. Simon Danielli has similar physical stats to George North – but nothing in the way of his skill levels. Good back play is still about football skills and lines of running – look where England have got over the last decade with any number of beefcake boshers in the backline. Lesley Vainikolo anyone? Matt Banahan? Altogether now: Ooooooooooooooooooohhhh!

Erm, it’s the gameplan again, stupid.

People need to forget about what we haven’t got, and look a bit more at what we have. As we noted a few weeks ago, a midfield of McFadden and Earls would have plenty of running threat, and plenty of pace. We need to build a plan of attack, and build it around the players’ strengths, not retreating behind fears about the size of players. As the always incisive Emmet Byrne said on Off the Ball last week, we need to look at how we can hurt teams with what we have, instead of just hoping our defence will squeeze enough mistakes out of the opposition.

It’s much the same with all our problems: the unbalanced backrow, the uncertainty at half-back, the size of our centres, the unchanging selections: they’d all be a lot less problematic if we played with a clearly identifiable, cohesive and well executed gameplan that everyone on the team bought into.

by whiffofcordite on February 20, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Giant Centres, Groundhogs, Ireland, Oooooooohhh, Pope Benedeccie

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 20, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/20/mythbusters/

Boorish, Self-Serving, Sychophantic and Biased: It’s the Irish Rugby Meeja

What is it with the Irish rugby media? For every Matty and Franno dishing out insightful comment and insider info, there is a Frankie getting paid by the Irish taxpayer to praise his clients. Every time Quinny gives us genuinely interesting comment from an ex-pro’s perspective, Tom McGurk informs us in turn that he is the link between the Irish rugby team and the public. The good and the awful co-exist in an uneasy compromise between treating the viewer/reader like a fool and like an intelligent consumer.

The empty rhetoric and pointless warblings of some of our esteemed scribes after the Welsh game were especially rank. Let’s take three examples in detail

Own Agendas / Provincial Bias

When Farmer Farrelly opined that Rory Best has become a key player for Ireland, we nodded in agreement – we wanted him to be the new captain after all, and he is Paulie’s second in command – no mean feat in a pack of big personalities.

The problem was the preceding paragraphs. Farrelly had started off by saying Deccie had too much loyalty to certain players. We couldn’t agree more. But to see that he was tiresomely referring only to Leinster players (and Tommy Bowe, who had just refused to join Munster), we sighed. Again. The funniest was saying Jonny Sexton needed to return Deccie’s loyalty – after all, he had started just one game in a row, and note the following series of events, starting with Sexton’s debut against Fiji in November 2009, after which he retained the shirt against the Boks the next week

DROPPED 1 – for the 2010 Six Nations, Rog took over for the first 2 games, then Sexton came back in for the final 3
DROPPED 2 – for the All Black game in June Rog had the shirt, then Sexton came back in against Australia. That November, Sexton retained the shirt for all the big games, but…
DROPPED 3 – he lost it again in the following years 6N after the defeat to France. Sexton came back into the side for the final game against England, and held the shirt for the France games in August
DROPPED 4 – Rog took over for the England game. In the RWC, Sexton started against Australia
DROPPED 5 – then Rog came back into the side against Italy and Wales

Hardly the type of loyalty that needs urgent repaying, whatever you opinions on who should wear the 10 shirt. This parochialism is a huge issue in Irish rugby, but you would think our journalists would know better.

Give The Proles the Message

In case our Anonymous friend thinks we are unfairly targetting the Farmer, let’s move on to his polar opposite, suave sunglasses-donning D4 bon viveur Gerry Thornley. Thornley is our inspiration, and a thoroughly great read when on form. Form is scratchy these days however, and when he isn’t moaning about Pearson penalizing the Munster forwards in Toulon, or France getting to the World Cup final, he is worshipping at the altar of Deccie.

Last season, in return for uncannily getting the starting XV right for every match in the Six Nations, Gerry helpfully explained the logic behind each selection. Sometimes he even went beyond the call of duty in his enthusiasm to get Pope Benedeccie’s message across, assuring us that Paddy Wallace was on the bench to cover fullback, and as such was a better choice than, say, Gavin Duffy or Felix Jones. Equally, Ireland, as well as having the correct selection at all times, had no disciplinary issues. Au contraire:

“Messrs Poite, Pearson, Owen and Kaplan (with the, em, help of Allan) gave them a raw deal.”

So of the 5 referees, 4 were biased. As they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Woodward and Bernstein would be proud.

Gerry lost his place to Fangio for the RWC, and contented himself with maintaining that Ireland’s attacking game was in great shape and anyone who suggested to the contrary was as blind as Dave Pearson.

And so, back to the Six Nations, and Gerry was again the blue-eyed boy, getting the team selection bang on. We’re not suggesting that there was any relation to his supine review of the game, but safe to say gameplan, selection and coaching did not get any mention. Pulitzer’s all round!

The Lunatics Take Over the Asylum

To be fair to Gerry, he may have pedalled the official line, but at least he did it in a considered and well-spoken fashion. Another well-known pundit opted for the aimless ridiculous ranting ploy – the one and only George Hook. Hooky had an immediate diagnosis for Ireland’s problems after the Welsh game – the back row. So far, so ok. What the plan then George? Well, said our hero, Jamie Heaslip spends too much time in the papers, so time to ditch him and bring in a proper openside. Ok, don’t like the personal attack bit, but go on … who should come in? Harrison Brewer. Harrison Brewer, everyone in Ireland asked? That would be Harrison Brewer, who is still in school, and starred for Terenure in last years Junior Cup. Oh dear. And who is apparently a centre. Dear oh dear.

The craziness is not limited to Hooky, the froth on the message boards is far more voluminous (and stupid) than on HEC weekends, and its generally of Farmer Farrelly standard: play _________ because he has the pishun/schooling/soundness plus he is from the same province as me. But Hook stokes this crap – people recycle his every moronic utterance and claim it as their own, adding to the general atmosphere of stupidity following any Irish defeat. RTÉ have clearly (as is their right) decided on ditching sensible rugby commentary in favour of entertainment.

So Frankie, any thoughts on your man of the match?

“Thanks Miles/Mark/Ryle/Conor. I certainly do. David Wallace may have been fairly quiet by his own high standards and was substituted after 50 minutes, but the clincher for me is that he is my client, and therefore man of the match.”

The above is paraphrased, but happened in January last year. Wally is a hero of ours and he had the grace to look bemused when presented with his magnum of Magners. Frankie was on the ether again a few weeks ago, labelling Peter O’Mahony (another client) the player of the HEC group stages. His logic – well, didn’t he get two man of the match awards? He did indeed. Guess who he got them from?

A Few Bad Apples

So between personal agendas, prostrating to all, engaging the vocal chords before the brain and enriching oneself, are all Irish meeja types the same? Thankfully not. It would be remiss of us to wrap this article up without mentioning those who we enjoy reading and listening to, those whose considered opinions deserve a (much) higher billing than they currently get. Take it away:

Quinny. His new column in the Irish Times is a revelation, giving you a proper insight into the life of a pro, the inner thoughts, the nagging doubts, and the drivers of success. He’ll get better the further removed he is from the playing sphere
Keith Wood. Talks and thinks like he plays – rarely putting a foot wrong. You can see why he captained every team he played in, the man oozes intelligence and ambition. And he scored a drop goal for Ireland! From hooker!!
Shaggy. When we saw his name down as an RTE pundit, we groaned. Current player, platitudes, bland. But he is much more than that. He is smart enough to know he needs to offer something more, and his random stories from the playing field always make you think
Emmett Byrne. Byrne can be hard to understand and talks too fast, but he is the only pundit who has ever led us to think we would have half a chance of understanding the technical dynamics of forward play (both of us are willowy backs at heart)
Matty and Franno. What can we say? Guided us through the RWC with proper analysis of matches, as opposed to rants about Deccie/Rog/Drico/losing the will to live. The contrast between RTE’s “isn’t it great for the people of Christchurch” and Setanta’s “Craig Joubert’s display was a disgrace to rugby” post-final analysis was stark
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Bob Casey. Ok, so his first 20 columns were about his mates who worked in the City, but he finally ended up giving really rounded pieces about the life of a run of the mill 9-5 pro. He appears on Sky from time to timew, but they give him a children’s table to make everyone laugh. Eschew the City, Bob, come back to our screens!
Conor O’Shea. O’Shea has an impressive depth of rugby knowledge and his thoughtful leadership has really shone through at Quins. Frequently looks bemused by the tantrums and abuse from McGurk and Hook, he is a rare bright spot at RTÉ.
Brendan Fanning. Fangio might hail from the Sindo, but he does some real writing too – for the Grauniad and for his excellent blog. He was Deccie’s pet during the RWC, but he wasn’t peddling the right lines, so now contents himself with writing perceptive and intelligent critiques.

by whiffofcordite on February 16, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in All the Presidents Men, Farmer Farrelly, Fat Payday for Frankie, George Hook, Gerry Thornley

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 16, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/16/boorish-self-serving-sychophantic-and-biased-its-the-irish-rugby-meeja/

Brad Thorn Ticks Every Box

st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) }The news that Brad Thorn’s signing for Leinster is virtually a done deal will certainly get the tongues wagging around the RDS, and beyond. Brad Thorn is a World Cup winner, a world class Gruntmeister General in the second row, and as anybody who witnessed his interview in the aftermath of losing the Super 15 final will attest, seems an awfully nice fellow to boot. He arrives for just a few months, but Leinster will be hoping that he can bring the sort of physicality and handling ability that made Nathan Hines a cornerstone of the team. He’s an old dog of war at 37, but given the ‘strongman’ nature of the position, age is no real barrier to success.

He’ll provide Leinster with strength in exactly the position where they’re weak, and provides it in the nick of time too, because numbers (and pedigree) in the second row are looking particularly low. Leinster’s Hines-free second row hasn’t really been tested yet this season, but it will be, and soon. Think of a possible semi-final in the Auvergne or a final against Toulouse, and it shouldn’t be hard to see just how valuable this guy will be.

Anyone wondering just how much an emergency it is only needs to glance over Leinster’s second-row roster from the start of the season, and what’s happened since:

Leo Cullen (Inj.) – captain and stalwart, but has looked off the pace this season, possibly due to playing through pain barrier, but it’s just as possible he’s starting to wind down. Opted for surgery on his achilles tendons during Six Nations window, hoping to be back for the HEC quarter final, but there are no guarantees.

Devin Toner – a minor revelation this year having flattered to deceive in the past. Looks to be playing with a bit more fire in his belly (but it will take more than bellyfire to become the next Barishnakov) – he’s more of a middle of the lineout jumper than a bruising No.4.

Damien Browne (Inj.) – something of a journeyman, but has worked out reasonably well, featuring in Schmidt’s ‘away’ team. Has the bulk required of a No.4 but assuredly does not have the footballing skills of a top end player. Playing him requires playing McLaughlin at 6, shifting SOB to 7, and resulting in a somewhat unbalanced back row. Struggling a little with a shoulder injury, and while he has continued playing, will require a recovery period at some stage

Steven Sykes (Cut!) – signed from Natal Sharks as replacement for Hines. The mystery man failed to settle in Dublin and has been allowed to go back to his former club.

Mark Flanagan – performed very capably away to Cardiff, and could have a more prominent role in the coming weeks, but still only in his first year out of the academy and not ready for consecutive starts in the Pro12.

Kevin McLaughlin – the flanker has the lineout skills to pack down in the second row if required, but it’s seen as an emergency option by management.

Just two senior locks are currently available, and one of them is playing hurt. Besides, as we’ve all ‘learned’ recently, Browne is the only one who specialises in scrummaging on the tighthead side. It’s pretty clear that another body is urgently required. But, the question will be asked, is it for the good of Irish rugby that Leinster are bringing in a ‘ringer’ to solve their injury crisis, rather than give some local talent its fling? After all, this sort of move will be ruled out by the new NIE laws.

One alternative touted by some is that Leinster could recruit an Irish player from one of their friendly neighbours – as it appears they’ll have to do from 2013 on. But this is pretty much a non-runner. The majority of players are cup-tied at this stage of the season, and the idea of Munster sending, say, Ian Nagle up the road on loan to their rivals to dig them out of a hole seems far fetched. Besides, it appears from how little he’s featured this season (one start, four sub appearances) that Munster don’t consider him ready for sustained exposure just yet.

The truth is that this does no harm whatsoever to Irish rugby. First of all, Leinster are replacing one NIE player (Sykes) with another, so they are still operating within the IRFU rules. More importantly, no Irish players’ development will be held back by this move. Thorn will presumably pack down alongside Devin Toner, and while Leo Cullen may return in time for the HEC quarter-final, there are no guarantees that he will get his place back. Cullen’s days as an international are assuredly over, and it’s up to Toner to keep his level up and get himself picked. Damien Browne may feature a little less, him being the most Thorn-like, but he is carrying an injury that needs to be managed in any case – besides, he’s hardly being tagged as a future Ireland international, and has probably seen more HEC action than was planned anyway.

Those of an excitable bent will cry that Mark Flanagan should be given his chance to shine, but he is nowhere near ready for this level. He has three Leinster starts to his name, and has not even been training full-time with the squad, instead concentrating on completing his degree. Anyone who thinks throwing him in at the deep end of a HEC knockout game would be good for him needs to re-think their understanding of player development (hint: it’s not just about ‘getting enough gametime’, as often trumpeted on internet fora).

The idea that Ireland could miss out on the next great second row because Brad Thorn turns up to solve an injury crisis for a few months is pretty proposterous. Bring on the Brad.

by whiffofcordite on February 15, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Brad Thorn, Leinster, Second Row Injury Crisis

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 15, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/15/brad-thorn-ticks-every-box/

Wayne and Dave Take a Trip to Paris

Ok, we know it probably wasn’t really Dave Pearson’s fault, but everyone (in France anyway) is blaming him, so we just couldn’t resist it…

After last week’s successful trip to Dublin, Wayne and Blind Dave go to Paris for the weekend. They wrap up warm because of the cold. Just before they go out for the night, Dave gets cold feet and calls Wayne outside.

Wayne: What is it Dave?
Dave: Its cold. Too cold to go out. Stayin’ in.
Wayne: Are you sure? Why? – you went outside an hour and a half ago and said it was fine.
Dave: Yeah I know
Wayne: And all these people have come to see you – you don’t want to let them down after last week do you?
Dave: No
Wayne: And remember you said how irresponsible stewarding and short notice to paying punters was a factor in the riots that followed the Metallica concert in Utar Pradesh in November? You said you’d never let that happen on your watch.
Dave: Yeah I know.

Wayne: So we’ll go out then – you’ve wrapped up warm, and that nice Ryan chap is lighting a fire for you over there
Dave: No. Postponed

*Wayne walks away and tells the players*

Dave: Kick-off!

Oh Blind Dave!!

by whiffofcordite on February 13, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Blind Dave Pearson

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 13, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/13/wayne-and-dave-take-a-trip-to-paris/

Six Nations: Week 2: Cold Comfort

Okay so we didn’t get everything right this week either (although our Italy-England preview was almost bang on), but I don’t think too many people correctly called the farcical events in Paris either. Here’s our Week Two round-up.

The Winners’ Enclosure

England

Holy hand. England, unbelievably, were worse than in Week 1. And yet they won again. They got bashed backwards at every Italian carry, were brainless in possession and played like schoolboys at the end of the first half. The second half started just as badly, until the arrival of Dickson and Morgan added some zest and go-forward ball. Yet they still needed opposition ineptitude and the enduring excellence of Owen Farrell from the kicking tee to win. This was astonishingly poor. A bright first few phases gave way to an embarrassing march backwards all over the park – Italy looked a hugely superior side, but the lack of any kind of playmaking gumption in the halves meant they kept England in it. Somehow, ten minutes of urgency and they stumbled over the line ahead on the scoreboard. We still have no idea how they did it.

Happiness Index: 2.5/5 – you can’t argue with 100%, but the real teams are next. If Charlie Hodgson’s fingers were an inch shorter, England would be looking at at no wins and a wooden spoon. We sense foreboding.

Wales

It took them 40 minutes to get going, but right from Cusiter’s botched take of the second half kick-off, Wales upped the ante, running in three tries in the third quarter of the match. Their huge three-quarter line again caused all sorts of problems, and Cuthbert running straight over Greig Laidlaw is just something that’s going to happen every so often when you have backs that big and who run that hard. The key to their game is their accuracy and aggression at the ruck, which leaves Mike Phillips with the ball on a platter, and he can do his thing. Injuries are racking up but the replcements seem to fit seemlesssly into Gatland’s systems. Probably tournament favorites now.

Happiness Index: 4/5 – two from two and an inferior England team up next. But injuries might take their toll; they don’t have huge depth of talent

The Losers Corner

Scotland:

If Scotland had played like this last week they probably would have won. They looked a bit panicked by Wales’ hard-up blitz defence, and lost their way once Wales got on the front foot, but for 40 minutes they contained Wales admirably – though more could have been asked of the creaky Welsh lineout. They got their reward for all their endeavour with a rare try in the second half (and had a terrific one lamentably and erroneously chalked out by Poite).
Robinson, though, needs to be brave, and put his best team on the pitch. Stewart Hogg was sensational when he came on, and was tagged by many as their form back before the game. Despite what appears to be progress, the wooden spoon is a real possibility. Italy in Rome awaits, with only France still to come to Murrayfield.

Happiness index: 2/5 – better, of course, but never looked like winning. Robinson needs to put out his form team for the next game.

Italy:

Dear oh dear. A dominant pack. Ball-carriers routinely making 5 or 6 metres a carry. A solid defensive line from young confident backs. But Kris Burton and Tobias Botes, take a bow. Your utter ineptitde prevented your (adopted) country attaining a famous win. The forwards won this match, but the out-halves determined they won it by a negative number. Burton kicked the ball aimlessly away when keeping it in hand, specifically the hands of the back rows, would have resulted in easy points. He gave the team no direction or leadership and it was no surprise when he got the shepherds hook. Botes came on and look a bit less dumb in possession, but missed 2 of the worst kicks we have ever seen. Amazing. We venture that any of the Irish 10s currentl playing professional rugby could have piloted Italy to a win here, even Jeremy Staunton. Is Luciano Orquera that bad?? Hell, even do a Lievremental and pick Semenzato at 10 – he cannot do any worse than the curent clowns.

Happiness Index: 2/5 – the forwards and three-quarters were great, but the halves were appalling. We dont think they will go winless, but this was an opportunity lost.

The Freezer Section

France

With the game called off at farce o’clock, just farce minutes before farce-off, this could only be described as a farce. France will be annoyed about it, and not just because of the embarrassment suffered. This was an opportune time to face Ireland, just six days after a bad defeat, but the ship has sailed.

Happiness Index: Farce/5 – their pride will have been dented, but they’ll give a Gallic shrug and move on.

Ireland:

They didn’t lose in Paris for once, which is a plus. Amazingly, some domestic media suggested the French players didn’t want to play as they feared the Irish in those conditions. I doubt it. Truth is, as Franno alluded to, this isn’t that bad a result for Ireland. They can get their campaign belatedly up and running with a win against Italy, bed in Earls at 13, get O’Mahony capped, and maybe, just maybe, have a little bit of momentum going to Paris. They’ll still lose the rescheduled game of course.

Happiness Index: 1.5/5 – the bile from last week is dissipating and a familiar misplaced optimism is returning to Irish rugby.

by whiffofcordite on February 13, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Great White North, Miracles in Rome, Polars Bears in Paris

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 13, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/13/six-nations-week-2-cold-comfort/

Six Nations: Match Previews Week 2

So we did well last week – predicting wins for Ireland and the Jocks and a cakewalk for France. Oops – 0/3 against the spread. Egg even got the Superbowl wrong, backing New England. Boooo. Still, luck has got to even out, so we can’t be that wrong again!

Italy v England

So, England are back! Stuart Lancaster’s Revolution began with a resounding victory over Scotland. According to the English press anyway – Stephen Jones had Phil Dowson down as “wonderfully effective”, Owen Farrell’s debut was lauded by all and Moritz Botha will be a mainstay of the team for years to come. In reality, England were dire – of the debutants only Ooooooooooooohh Brad Barritt (and Ben Morgan off the bench) impressed; the halves were anonymous, and only Scottish butchering saved them from a hammering.

Italy, on the other hand, lost but played quite well. The pack looked ordinary beforehand, but made the French 8 work and broke even in the tight. They even tried to play a bit of rugby in the backs. It all seems set for a monumental ambush in the Olimpico, but we have our doubts. The Azzurri have never beaten England, and generally get wiped out, although the last 2 games in Italy have been lost by 4 points and 5. Their first up tackling continues to be a weakness.

Ironically, Italian teams of recent vintage which concentrated on 8-man rugby may have had a chance here – the English pack is horribly lightweight and looks ripe for a complete mauling. As it stands, Italy’s desire to play it more open might count against them – England’s strongest players are in the backline. Having said that, it can’t be that hard to close down England’s attack – Scotland managed it with ease and the boshing centres don’t get ball to the dangerous backs quickly.

If this comes down to place-kicking, its a definite advantage for England – Farrell is not a man who misses.

Verdict: Until Italy prove they have the mental, its England for us.The spread is 8 points, which seems generous given this is the worst England pack either of us can remember. We won’t be shocked if Italy do it, but look to Italy-Ireland last year for a template for this game – Italian missed chances and away win.

France v Ireland

On paper it’s nigh on impossible to see where Ireland can win this game. Lethargic and borderline passive against Wales, a largely identical 15 now soldiers on to Paris, where they simply don’t win, even on their good days. France, as is customary, have a made a few changes to their team, but only one looks to weaken their side. Harinordoquy and Maestri offer lineout options, while Poux is a technical scrummager par excellence (see what we did there, Gerry?). The only peculiar one is the starting of Szarzewski over the dogged Servat. Sure, the great Toulouse hooker can’t go on forever, but while Szarsewski looks like a Roman God, he doesn’t really play like one. The backline is unchanged, and looks set to purr; there are some big chaps in there too.

These games in Paris usually go one way: Ireland often make a reasonably good start, often creating, but failing to score a chance in the first few minutes before France up the tempo, and clinically rack up the points. A final twist is usually provided with France falling asleep at the wheel late on (a few terrible substitutions can go some way to helping here) and letting Ireland back into the game. Ireland’s only chance of winning is to get the first try and put doubt into the minds of the Frenchmen. They would also do well not to fawn over the beautiful blue jersey’s and Szarzewski’s immaculate hair – they must be utterly belligerent, feral at the breakdown, maniacal in defence and uninhibited with ball in hand. So, no chance then!

A curious side note is that our favourite double team Blind Dave and Wayne are back in action this weekend. While this has been generally lamented, it might just work in Ireland’s favour. Blind Dave might just have it in the back of his mind to be nice to the lads this week to even things up for his abdication of responsibility on Sunday. [We’re clinging on to a life raft here folks, we’re utterly desperate!]

Verdict: If the pattern of Ireland delivering good performances only when painted into a corner is to be continued, then expect Ireland to leave absolutely nothing on the freezing-cold Stade de France surface. Another sterile defeat, and Ireland’s campaign will be moving in worrying parallel with the 2008 Championship. Either way, France to win.

Wales v Scotland

Wales were probably the most impressive of all the sides last weekend, but it’s pretty easy to look great when you have free ball and the opposition let your huge and talented backs run at them. Ireland’s “gameplan” backfired and play straight into Welsh hands. Yet they nearly lost.

Scotland rucked the English back-row into oblivion, tore plenty of holes in the defensive line and had all the try chances. And lost miserably. How Nick De Luca manages to maintain a spot in the team with his hands is beyond us.

The Welsh won’t find it as easy this week – the Scottish back row are manic and won’t allow the freedom of the park to Wales like Ireland did. The Welsh will welcome back Dan Lydiate for some ball carrying threat from blindside, and the Scots ditched Dan Parks after Robbo belatedly accepted his post-RWC retirement. Ironically, Parks ability to kick behind the skillful but not-that-mobile Welsh 3/4 line might have come in useful – but they’re better off without.

As it stands, Greig Laidlaw will attack the gainline with aplomb in a way not seen since his anaemic attack coach retired from playing, and if – big if – they can cut out the handling errors, we might see Scotland actually score some points. Maybe even a try! They seem to do better on their travels than in the pressurised cauldron of Murrayfield. Wales will look to get their backs on the ball at speed, and if they do, it’s difficult to see any problems for them. If Phillips, North and Davies are prominent again, you can bet Wales have done enough.

Verdict: Scotland are limpetty and difficult to play against, and we’re going against the usual writing off. We think they will get it together some day and explode in semi-glorious fashion. Not today though – Wales to eke it out, but it will be clsoer than the 12 point spread.

by whiffofcordite on February 9, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Dan Parks, Ritual hammering in Paris, Six Nations, Stadio Olimpico

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 9, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/09/six-nations-match-previews-week-2/

Sergeant Deccie’s Lonely Hearts Committee

We don’t normally do long and winding posts, but we have given some structure to a shared stream of conciousness that has been around for about 24 hours now. Lets see how it plays out…

Look at yourself first

Ok, so this is meant to be the piece where we castigate the management for another insipid Irish performance. And it will be. Oh yes. But first we have to castigate ourselves. We were overconfident. We looked at the Welsh tight five and saw four first team names missing and fairly ordinary replacements. We saw Roberts and Priestland only just back from injury. We didn’t really rate Priestland anyway (turns out we were right on that one), but we saw the excellent (and huge) back 5 and figured, surely they won’t get enough good ball to figure?

But much more criminally, we dared to hope that all the talk of a new gameplan would come to fruition. What fools! Have we learned nothing!? We also got suckered in to thinking that the provincial success would somehow feed into the Irish team. And we call ourselves rugby nerds? Lordy. We weren’t taken for complete fools though – we expressed scepticism over the committee in charge of attack – but we hoped. Boy do we feel foolish now.

What’s wrong with Ireland?

Just what is the matter with Ireland? Why do they look so… average? For the last two years Ireland have been generally poor, only rising above the torpor on sporadic, often emotionally-driven occasions. Is George Hook’s theory about the natural openside (get that Gick lad away from his textbooks and straight into the team, right George?) correct? Are we picking the right halfbacks? Is our backline too small? Should Donncha have started?

Most of the above are neither here nor there. In truth our problems look more deeply rooted – the mini centres do fine for Leinster, all four halves in the squad have played well this season and all three provinces have managed fine thanks very much without a fetcher at 7. And as for Donncha … well, we’ve been there.

There just doesn’t seem to be any plan of attack. On Sunday we saw downtown kicking, Garryowens and box kicks repeatedly deployed. This was in spite of a lot of talk beforehand of ball-in-hand attacking. Sexton’s long kicking to the back three was frequently ordinary, but his Garryowens were pretty accurate, and Kearney and Bowe are highly effective chasers, but they still only give you at best a 50% chance of retaining possession. Conor Murray is a fine kicker of the ball, but didn’t have his best day on Sunday, and there are entire countries where box kicking of turnover ball would see you dropped, no questions asked.

Jamie Heaslip and Andrew Trimble managed to get themselves going forward on the end of some good ball, but the barnstorming flankers of the HEC were anonymous, and Cian Healy barely touched the ball in the loose.

The sad thing is that attack seems to be something of an afterthought for Ireland. Contrast with defence, where Les Kiss proved ahead of the rest of the world in innovating the choke tackle, as well as using line-shooters in 2009 to great effect. Ireland’s defence has looked calculated, programmed and solid for most of the last three years – but not on Sunday [Should BOD have been sharing some of Kiss’s plaudits over the last 3 years?].

In attack the opposite has been the case. The majority of the backline is provided by Leinster, where the players are familiar with working with Joe Schmidt, one of the best coaches of backs in the world and by all accounts highly demanding in terms of accuracy and execution. From there they come into a system with no recognised attack coach, and where sloppiness (so much dropped ball) and comfort zones (you’re picked again anyway) are ingrained. Since Gaffney departed, the role has been taken over by a four-man committee of the defence coach, the kicking coach, the video analyst, and Deccie himself. It looks like Ireland play to choke tackle the life out of teams and hope to grind out enough points to finish just ahead on the scoreboard. They rarely go out and take the game to teams.

Interestingly, Matty Williams has been banging the drum for a while that Gaffney actually had very litle influence on attack, while Kiss had Deccie’s ear. We assumed Matty was just standing up for his mate (which he was) but there appears to have been at least a grain of truth to his claims. Now that the Gaffney hook has been slung, it appears what Matt said was happening behind the scenes has been formalised.

Surely the small matter of attack requires a dedicated specialist? Either the IRFU and Deccie think the Committee is doing a good enough job that there was no need to source one, or they tried and failed to get an established name on board. The delay in hiring a team manager was apparently due to the difficulty of working with Deccie – interesting, and worrying. Was the job offered to someone who turned it down? And if so, why? Was it due to the ill-defined nature of Kiss’ role? There was surely ample time to hire someone if they wanted to.

Do Ireland have The Mental?

For all that Ireland played poorly, they still should have won. Six points up with five minutes on the clock is a position you should close out. Leinster, Ulster or Munster would not have lost the match in those circumstances. Ireland took the wrong decision to go for a penalty that was out of Sexton’s range, and were passive in the penultimate phase of play, where Wales marauded 60m up the pitch and won the match-winning penalty. Compare with the mania with which Munster went through 50,000 phases to set up ROG’s drop goal against Northampton, or the way 14-man Leinster defended the line against Glasgow. You just knew they’d hold out. The same intensity just doesn’t seem to be there in the green shirt.

Is Kidney’s management working?

‘You can’t really give them a reason why they are out. I remember telling one or two lads that. I said “If I was to tell you a reason I’d be trying to justify my decision.”’

The above is a quotation from the grand slam book where Kidney described the process of telling players they’re left out. Kidney, by his own admission, tries to give little away. Donncha’s recent autobiography described how Kidney seeks to keep players on their toes, and often in the dark as to his thinking. It works for some players, doubtless, but the modern professional surely needs more than a slippery cute-hoorish platitude – he needs goals, boundaries and targets. It’s fine for Paulie, BOD and ROG, who probably don’t listen anyway, but how can Donnacha Ryan or Fergus McFadden expect to come in and wing it? How can they set themselves defined goals without any organisational feedback?

At Leinster, where over half the starting 15 play, Joe Schmidt is, according to various player interviews, very forthright with the players, telling them in detail why they haven’t got the nod and what they need to do to get picked. The players, we understand, hugely appreciate his honesty. You have to wonder if Deccie’s handling of the players, successful as it’s been in the past, is really getting the best out of the current group.

Where to next?

Well, Paris obviously, where Ireland have won twice since 1954. Even a performance of the calibre of those against England in the Aviva or Australia in Eden Park won’t suffice. Hell, even a performance like Leinster in last years HEC semi-final may not suffice. Changes-wise, one would expect Ryan to be rewarded for his painful cameo, and for Earls to slot back in. The thought of Wesley Fofana’s razor sharp mind and lightning feet in Earls’ channel off easy ball do not bear thinking about, but it’s going to happen.

But that’s by the by. What is really needed is a new broom, fresh thinking. The Ireland team are asleep at the wheel, firmly ensconced in the comfort zone. The kick in the behind should either come from Deccie at training, or Deccie at selection. After all, Deccie is CEO, and the buck stops with him. The players havea role to play here as well – they don’t show the type of urgency Wales do. Granted, there is no competition for places – does Tommy Bowe really think Dave Kearney will take his shirt? How about SOB – does he think he needs to give an extra 2% to fend off Padre O’Mahoney? We aren’t advocating either of these switches by the way, but there are a few players going through the motions, playing at levels that would not be acceptable at provincial level.

On the bright side, we haven’t felt as pessimistic since after the USA match, and we all know what happened next! Noooo!!! The hope! Its the hope that kills you!

by whiffofcordite on February 7, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Deccie Kidney, Ireland

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 7, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/07/sergeant-deccies-lonely-hearts-committee/

Should have gone to Specsavers

It’s Sunday in Little Britain and Wayne is bringing his friend Blind Dave on a trip to Dublin. Suddenly there’s an incident and Blind Dave puts his flag up.

Wayne: What is it Dave?
Dave: Dangerous tackle. 4 red.
Wayne: Dangerous tackle. Are you sure? What happened? What’s your recommendation?
Dave: Picked him up, turned him over, drove him into the ground. Yellow card.
Wayne: Yellow card? Are you sure?
Dave: Yeah.
Wayne: Definitely a yellow. That sounds like a tip tackle Dave and I know you don’t like that.
Dave: Yeah I know.
Wayne: But you said that tackles above the line of the shoulders have the potential to cause serious injury and that you’d noted that a worrying trend had emerged whereby players responsible for such tackles were not being suitably sanctioned.
Dave: Yeah I know.
Wayne: So you’re sure its a yellow.
Dave: Yeah.
*Wayne walks away*
Wayne: Captain! And four. Dangerous tackle – yellow card.

Dave: Tip tackle. Red card.

Oh dear. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so close to the truth.

by whiffofcordite on February 6, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Blind Dave Pearson, Six Nations, Stevie Wonder

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 6, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/06/should-have-gone-to-specsavers/

Whiff of Cordite