Should have gone to Specsavers

It’s Sunday in Little Britain and Wayne is bringing his friend Blind Dave on a trip to Dublin. Suddenly there’s an incident and Blind Dave puts his flag up.

Wayne: What is it Dave?
Dave: Dangerous tackle. 4 red.
Wayne: Dangerous tackle. Are you sure? What happened? What’s your recommendation?
Dave: Picked him up, turned him over, drove him into the ground. Yellow card.
Wayne: Yellow card? Are you sure?
Dave: Yeah.
Wayne: Definitely a yellow. That sounds like a tip tackle Dave and I know you don’t like that.
Dave: Yeah I know.
Wayne: But you said that tackles above the line of the shoulders have the potential to cause serious injury and that you’d noted that a worrying trend had emerged whereby players responsible for such tackles were not being suitably sanctioned.
Dave: Yeah I know.
Wayne: So you’re sure its a yellow.
Dave: Yeah.
*Wayne walks away*
Wayne: Captain! And four. Dangerous tackle – yellow card.

Dave: Tip tackle. Red card.

Oh dear. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so close to the truth.

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