All posts in category Six Nations

The Grand Slam, The Birdie Putt and the Wooden Spoon

The Grand Slam

‘Tis a biggie alright.  Wales are the Six Nations’ all-or-nothing men.  World Cup disaster in 2007?  Wales, I’ll stick you down for a large helping.  Blazing a trail in 2008 with an outstanding slam?  Yes, indeedy.  How about mid-table mediocrity for the next three years, Wazza?  Ah sure, go on. Following their World Cup success with a Grand Slam would count as an all too rare bit of consistency, and there’s a feeling that this Welsh side is built for a less fleeting spell of greatness.

They certainly have a robustness that 2008’s high-class but flaky geniuses didn’t.  If they don’t quite have the silken touch of the likes of Williamses Martyn and Shane or James Hook and Gavin Henson in form they have never looked remotely like repeating, they certainly have power.  They haven’t looked as good as they did in the opening week in Dublin over the last couple of games, but they should have enough bosh to get the job done.  Oooooooooooooooohhh Wales – who’d have thunk it?

France can be all or nothing themselves, but usually all within the one match.  PSA has had a miserable tournament, winning few friends with his Anglo-centric rugby philosophy and fewer still with some poor results.  His team look jaded and uninspired, but the squad has been given a shake-up.  It’s highly unlikely they’ll win, but a bit of fresh enthusiasm – hopefully from the likes of Ouedraogo and the exciting teenage Clermont full-back Jean Marcel Buttin – might just rouse them from their slumbers.

Verdict: Wales to secure the slam.

The Birdie Putt

Two teams looking to finish ahead of par with a win.  Both teams started terribly, but have improved as the show has gone on.  The winner will finish second in the log, and can feel pretty good about the tournament, but for the loser it’s a fair-to-middling season if you’re England and a middling-to-poor one if you’re Ireland.

Hopes are for a decent game between the two sides finishing well.  England’s gameplan isn’t that different to the side which flunked out of the World Cup.  Their carriers still run hard and straight, and Owen’s primary ploy looks to be the inside pass.  It’s readable enough stuff, but they have a handful of threats: Ben Morgan (a player we’ve liked for some time) is a fine carrier, Manu Tuilagi will fancy a cut at Ireland’s midfield and Tom Croft, while he isn’t the best 6 in the world by a long shot, can do damage in wide channels.  Not all that surprisingly, England have found their confident voice again – it doesn’t take much for these guys to believe their own hype.

If Ireland can hit the rucks and use a similar defensive line to that which we saw in Paris, they should have the class in the backline to win.  Expect to see Stephen Ferris smash anything that moves in the middle of the field, while Heaslip and O’Brien will be employed closer to the ruck.  And forget the overrated Rhys Priestland: Sexton v Farrell is the shootout for 10 of the series.

Vedict: Ireland to finsh first in the match and second in the tournie.

The Wooden Spoon

Lordy, this could make for grim viewing.

Verdict: Scotland to squeeze out a win.  Expect a cagey don’t-lose-it-whatever-you-do approach from both sides.

by whiffofcordite on March 15, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in England, France, Ireland, Six Nations, Wales

Posted by whiffofcordite on March 15, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/03/15/the-grand-slam-the-birdie-putt-and-the-wooden-spoon/

Five things we learned from this week’s Six Nations

Another week, another set of bogus predictions from the Whiff of Cordite boys.  I only hope all our loyal readers have been going to the bookies to lay exactly what we’ve been forecasting.  Wales to cut loose, Ireland to win a tight game and France to beat England.  Erm…

Ireland’s attack: now with 40% more penetration

Before the tournament, the one thing we asked – begged! – for was to see Ireland’s attack improve.  Credit to Deccie and Kiss; they have delivered.  Ireland look a threat with ball in hand now, and the flat, lateral play that characterised Ireland over the last couple of seasons has been largely dispatched – 13 tries in four games, and no fewer than two in any match, tells its own story.  It said a lot that even after a nervy, ponderous start, Ireland were willing to go to the corner with an early penalty, and take the game to the Scots.  It’s been a collective effort, but two players who deserve particular credit are Rob Kearney and Keith Earls.  Kearney’s counter-attacking has been a joy to watch, and Keith Earls has shown himself to be up to the job at 13.

Wales slam-in-waiting has echoes of Ireland in 2009

Wales have effectively won the Championship, barring a ridiculous set of results next week.  Their journey to the Grand Slam has been reminiscent of Ireland in 2009 – opening with an impressive flourish in the first match, before regressing a little with every game.  Ireland relied on an accurate kicking game, while Wales have fallen back on their power.  It’s almost as if they’ve bought into the press’ fawning over the size of their backline. No side that wins a Six Nations deserves to be sniffily treated, and less so one that wins a Grand Slam, as Wales surely will.  They are the best selected, best coached, and it would appear, fittest, team in the competition, but this is not a vintage championship.  Ireland, and indeed England, will not see them as especially superior, and are entitled to have some regrets.

Just how awesome is Richie Gray?

Very is the answer. Watching Scotland on Saturday was a little bit like watching Italy in recent times, when one player is just so much better than all his team-mates. Gray was physically and metaphorically head and shoulders above anyone else in a navy shirt, and indeed many in green. His try was a thing of beauty – Bob Kearney is getting some stick for buying Gray’s dummy, but Gray combined the dummy with a subtle change of angle and pace, and it was that, as much as anything, which did for Kearney. At times you felt he should step in at 10 to give Wee Greig a break – he most probably has the skills for it.

Gallic shrugs for all

It’s pretty clear France aren’t very engaged in this tournament. We thought they would stroll it, so mea culpas all round, but they just don’t seem too bothered. When they look like they might be embarrassing themselves, they step it up for a while (last quarter vs. Scotland, third quarter vs. Ireland, last 10 minutes vs. England), but generally aren’t too concerned. Why might this be? Well, PSA was roundly congratulated for his continuity, contrasting with Lievremont’s selections, but that has a flip side. Firstly, they were all physically and emotionally drained after the RWC. Secondly, the team’s key players are from Toulouse, Clermont and Biarritz – three teams with key months ahead, for differing reasons.

The rumour mill is already rife that Yachvili (and the FFR) would prefer to be with Biarritz to save them from relegation rather than devote time to Les Bleus. At the other end, Clermont are aiming for a unique double – and expect to see the Aurelien Rougerie we are used to and not the ponderous and disinterested passenger of the 6N when Les Jaunards pitch up in Lahndan in April. It’s not that the national jersey means nothing, it’s that these men can only give so much; and being a Basque, Catalan or Auvergnat is equally as important as being French.

And by the by, for a nation which professes to be in love with the drop goal, they’ve been utterly useless at them in this competition.

Lancaster’s investment in youth has paid off

England might have looked desperate at times, but they have done what they have needed to do, and, but for Mike Brown’s inability to fix a man, would be playing for the Championship this weekend. Lancaster tore up the tired old script and gave youth its head, and he has been rewarded. England are improving with every game, and it’s down to Owen Farrell (20), Manu Tuilagi (20), Ben Morgan (23), Alex Corbisiero (23), Chris Robshaw (23) and Brad Barritt (25). The youngsters are beginning to look comfortable in their surroundings, and England look in decent shape all of a sudden.

The test will of course come in adversity. Johnno tore up a pretty successful playbook after getting hockeyed by Ireland last year, and the result was a farcical RWC. England have their nemesis of recent times, a rejuvenated Ireland, up next, then a three test tour of South Africa at the end of a draining season. If their performances hold up, they don’t ship any heavy beatings, and they get two wins (or one if it comes in SA) from those four, England will have come through a very tough time to get to a pretty good place.

by whiffofcordite on March 12, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in England, France, Gallic Shrugs, Ireland, Richie Gray, Six Nations, Wales are overrated

Posted by whiffofcordite on March 12, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/03/12/five-things-we-learned-from-this-weeks-six-nations/

Six Nations: Round Four Preview

Wales v Italy

This is a no-brainer right? Right. Wales have won every game and are at home to an Italian side who have lost every game.

England showed the way for the rest of the world how to trouble Wales – tempt them into a bosh-fest. With Mike Philips at scrum half, there is every chance of dragging to a dogfight, tightening up space in the midfield, leaving Jamie Roberts too tempted by contact, and emasculating Davies, North and Halfpenny with no ball.

It’s a gameplan which might have appealed to Italy of two years ago but Novo Italia don’t do 10 man rugby any more – they toss the ball around with gay abandon and utter ineffectiveness. The lack of a fly-half worthy of the description is a major impediment, and they won’t come anywhere close to winning a game without one.

Only complacency is Wales’ enemy here, and there is a chance they could really go to town in the 4th quarter, like Ireland did, but they may empty the bench with Les Bleus in mind.

Verdict: Wales at a canter, by 20 points at least.

Ireland v Scotland

The Stade de Farce re-schedule and high-quality game means Scotland are coming into this game somewhat under the radar. All the talk has been about Tommy Bowe, Ireland’s aggressive defence then heroic resistance, followed by injuries to Paulie and Conor Murray. No-one has talked about Scotland, which is the way they will like it – from the soundbites coming from their camp, they seem confident they can win.

Scotland’s two Genuine Opensides (TM) will not only have Hook and McGurk drooling, but they will have Ireland worried – John Barclay did a serious job on them two years ago. In addition, Big Jim Hamilton and Slim Richie Gray will be licking their lips at the prospect of a lineout featuring no 4-jumper, or experienced caller.  Scotland’s lineout stats are the best in the tournament, and Ireland’s are the worst – and that was before O’Connell got injured.  The ball carrying ability of Healy, Best and the back-row is matched by Ford, Gray and Denton.

Ireland have a tradition under Deccie of having difficulty peaking for successive games. They will have in mind that England at Twickers will be draining, and may aim to go wide early and get some daylight on the scoreboard to facilitate third gear for the last quarter. The expansive approach will suit Scotland, and we fear inaccurate execution could let them grow into the game.

The Irish bench has been a real strength up to now, but we have been forced to start our best subs, and you can’t see McCarthy and O’Leary having the same impact that Ryan and Reddan have brought with them. Also, Radge’s corner kicking is effectively out of the equation given Paulie’s absence.

Verdict: We are intrigued by this Scottish team, and we think they will do someone over soon. Probably not Saturday though. Probably. Expect the Leinster half backs to drag Ireland over the line by less than a score.

France v England

Le Crunch.  Les Bleus v Les Rosbifs.  Le Marsaillaise.  Le Stade de France.  L’artiste dans le side of the pitch painting le picture.  Le vin rouge.  Le champagne rugby.  Les deux fairly ordinary teams based on championship form so far. 

France were much vaunted before the tournament began (including by us), but they have been fleeting, playing only in fits and starts.  They beat Italy without much of the ball, were decidedly fortunate to beat Scotland, and then were careless against Ireland, coughing up two turnover tries (one an intercept) and falling 11 points behind despite pretty much owning the football.  They’ve addressed things by replacing their stuttering halfbacks with the more prosaic talents of Beauxis and Julien Dupuy, and seem set to give it a bit of boot and bollock, as is PSAs wont.

This is the fixture where England tend to outperform, and they seem surprisingly chuffed with themselves after losing at home to Wales.  Lancaster has done a reasonable job so far but needs to learn how to use his bench i.e. don’t!  Under no circumstances should Dowson and an out-of-form Youngs have been introduced to disrupt England’s momentum.  They were unlucky in the end, and looked to have scored a potential equalising score at the death, but just two tries, both from chargedowns, in three games tells its own story.

Don’t expect a classic.

Verdict: We have France down for a narrow win here.  Expect the scores to rack up in multiples of three, but France may just have a single match-winning try in them.

by whiffofcordite on March 8, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Six Nations

Posted by whiffofcordite on March 8, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/03/08/six-nations-round-four-preview/

The Cup, the Plate and the Bowl

A non-vintage Six Nations campaign is heading for a straightforward blitz-tournmanent style finale.  In the last week, Wales and France will meet to decide the championship winners (The Cup).  England and Ireland will play for the Plate, or third place, and Italy and Scotland will tough it out for the Bowl (or to avoid the wooden spoon).

The Cup

Some of the mythology around the enormous Welsh backline was exposed this weekend.  Mike Phillips got overly involved in a fight with the English backrow, and Wales never looked like getting around England, so they just kept trying to go through them.  Getting into a boshfest with the Kings of Bosh is a risky game, and Wales were in a tight spot for much of the afternoon.  In the end they had just enough class to win out, with one of their smaller backs, reserve centre Scott Williams (weighing in at a puny 97kgs) coming up with a dash of brilliance to win it.  The Triple Crown is in the bag, and they are in a good position to deliver the slam, with France coming to Cardiff.

Here in Ireland we love nothing more than fawning over the French.  We’re spellbound by their pristine blue shirts, intimidated by their scrummaging power, awestruck by their handling skills, and swooning over Morgan Parra’s classic good looks.  But for all their Gallic genius, they rarely play all that well.  Truth is, they’re masters of just doing enough (unless they are playing New Zealand).  Not much has really changed under the new coach.  Sure, the selection is consistent, but the mentality is harder to shift.  France sleepwalked through the first 25 minutes here, and while their two tries were brilliant, there was no sustained greatness.  Trouble is, they are usually good for one outstanding performance a series.  One of Ireland, England or Wales will get it.

The Plate

England: played three, two tries, both chargedowns.  They’ve Strettle, Ashton and Foden in the back three, but they can’t service them with three midfielders with the distribution skills of combine harvesters.  Brad Barritt fought gamely again, and he’s not a bad player, but the lines of attack are too predictable.  For all that they probably scored a good try at the death, and after last week’s bottling exploits for his club, we’d all have loved to see the theatre of the last-kick wide conversion from Toby Flood to save a draw.  Two players who won’t enjoy looking at the tape this morning are Courtney Lawes, whose upright carrying style led directly to the Welsh try, and Mike Brown, who failed to fix his man with the non-try scoring pass to Strettle, and gave him an awful lot to do, when a stroll in was possible.

Declan Kidney is starting to get the hang of this newfangled ‘bench’ thing that other people keep banging on about it.  We’d heard of it ourselves, but weren’t quite sure what it was.  Turns out you can replace players during the game, sometimes even improving the side by bringing off a guy who’s tiring or not playing great and putting another player in his position.  Who knew?  All the talk this week will be that Ryan and Reddan should be starting in Paris (they won’t).  Both players are getting a raw deal.  Ryan is clearly the superior player at 4 to O’Callaghan, and is probably among Ireland’s best performers in the series so far, and it appears Reddan has never really earned the trust of the management.  He started their two best performances last year, and was influential in both, but found himself overlooked ever since.  Dropping a young player like Murray after two poor performances is not an easy call, but you feel that if Ireland are to have any – any! – chance of winning, Reddan needs to play.

The Bowl

Hard times for Scotland, who have improved out of sight this year, without getting the results to show for it.  Their handling and offloading was terrific yesterday.  Management are culpable for some outrageously bad team selections.  How was it that Hogg, Laidlaw and Blair had to wait until the third game in the series to take to the pitch together? Still, credit needs to go to them for making the changes. Scotland look like a team who might just win a few … if they can just win one.

It’s proving a difficult season for Italy, who haven’t really improved as much as people are letting on.  They were much more competitive last year, when they should have beaten Ireland and Wales, and toppled France.  The wooden spoon beckons methinks, as Scotland look to have too much for them – thouh they can be a different proposition in Rome.

It’s not been a classic series so far by any means, which had us wondering when there last was a classic Six Nations. Wales’ and Ireland’s grand slams in 2008 and 2009 were up against mediocre post-World Cup fields (France were off experimenting).  The best in recent times is probably 2007’s tournament, when strong France and Ireland sides went toe to toe, with France securing the Championship with the last play of the game against Scotland.  It’s been a while…

by whiffofcordite on February 27, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in 22 Man Game, England, France, Ireland, Italy, Scotland, Six Nations, Wales

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 27, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/27/the-cup-the-plate-and-the-bowl/

Six Nations: Round Three Preview

Ireland v Italy

This is a game Ireland should really win, and win comfortably.  Italy may have given England a fright a fortnight ago, but they are no great shakes on the road, and until they find a fly-half from somewhere they’re not going to trouble teams outside their home ground.  The trouble is that Ireland tend to give them a bit too much respect.  Last season – admittedly in the Flaminio, Deccie picked a horrendously out-of-form Tomas O’Leary at scrum-half, seemingly in a bid to counter the Italian forwards.  The result was that Ireland almost lost – Italy were a restart away from winning.  Ireland need to be bullish here and go wide early and often.  They should forget about nonsense like ‘earning the right to go wide’ and simply play the game at the highest pace they can.  Get Sexto flat on the gainline and put the ball through the hands.  Do that and Italy will start to fall off tackles, and tries will come.

A more likely outcome is that Ireland start slowly, butcher a couple of chances and get sucked in to a war of attrition.  Ireland will probably grind Italy down by a score or two but they should be looking to put this team away.

Verdict: Ireland to win by around 10-12 points.

England v Wales

Judging by the tone of some of the previews of this game, you would be expecting Wales to win by 2 scores or more – Barnesy has said England should be fearful, and the Grauniad were running pieces from the Welsh team of the mid-1980s boasting about how they didn’t respect any of the English players, with a clear line running through to today’s callow and ordinary Red Rose side.

Still, this is Twickers, and England don’t lose by much here – save for the Boks the November before last, they haven’t been far behind on the scoreboard in a long time.

All that said, the Welsh team look far too strong, a combative and skillful pack are getting ball to the destructive backs, which eventually leads to scores. The key to stopping Wales is to slow down the ball and get Mike Philips in a dogfight – this ensures the centres get the ball while static instead of going forward. And the key to beating them is to use their strength against them – have their relatively immobile backs turning around and drifting across by aggressive rucking and carrying then varying the attack with kicking behind, skip passes and hard lines.

Do England have the tools for this? Yes, in the form of Lawes, Wood, Morgan, Dickson, Cipriani, Tuilagi and an intelligent ball-playing 12. Lancaster’s team, however, is unlikely to contain any of those.

Verdict: Wales by 3-5 if Morgan plays and 7-10 if Dowson plays.

Scotland v France

An admirable ballsy selection by Robbo here – teenager Stuart Hogg is rewarded for his entertaining and effective cameo against Wales. John Barclay is back and with 2 genuine opensides in the team, expect Scotland to try and make this a dogfight at ruck time.

Mini Greig Laidlaw holds the 10 jersey and concerns about his defence against the giant French backrow and centres might have led to the re-instatement of Ooooooooooooooohhh Graeme Morrison – its hard to think of any other reason to pick him to be brutally honest.

Even if France do manage to be dragged down to Scotland’s level, its difficult to see them not prevailing. France have quality everywhere and a bench packed with high-class operators and Julien Dupuy. In the unlikely event of them finding themselves in trouble, the replacements will make the difference.

Verdict: We’ll be surprised if France need to go higher than third gear, and certainly don’t expect them to if they are in front. France by 9ish.

by whiffofcordite on February 23, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in England's missing heroes, Ooooooooh Graeme Morrison, Six Nations, Wales are overrated

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 23, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/23/six-nations-round-three-preview/

Six Nations: Match Previews Week 2

So we did well last week – predicting wins for Ireland and the Jocks and a cakewalk for France. Oops – 0/3 against the spread. Egg even got the Superbowl wrong, backing New England. Boooo. Still, luck has got to even out, so we can’t be that wrong again!

Italy v England

So, England are back! Stuart Lancaster’s Revolution began with a resounding victory over Scotland. According to the English press anyway – Stephen Jones had Phil Dowson down as “wonderfully effective”, Owen Farrell’s debut was lauded by all and Moritz Botha will be a mainstay of the team for years to come. In reality, England were dire – of the debutants only Ooooooooooooohh Brad Barritt (and Ben Morgan off the bench) impressed; the halves were anonymous, and only Scottish butchering saved them from a hammering.

Italy, on the other hand, lost but played quite well. The pack looked ordinary beforehand, but made the French 8 work and broke even in the tight. They even tried to play a bit of rugby in the backs. It all seems set for a monumental ambush in the Olimpico, but we have our doubts. The Azzurri have never beaten England, and generally get wiped out, although the last 2 games in Italy have been lost by 4 points and 5.  Their first up tackling continues to be a weakness.

Ironically, Italian teams of recent vintage which concentrated on 8-man rugby may have had a chance here – the English pack is horribly lightweight and looks ripe for a complete mauling. As it stands, Italy’s desire to play it more open might count against them – England’s strongest players are in the backline. Having said that, it can’t be that hard to close down England’s attack – Scotland managed it with ease and the boshing centres don’t get ball to the dangerous backs quickly.

If this comes down to place-kicking, its a definite advantage for England – Farrell is not a man who misses.

Verdict: Until Italy prove they have the mental, its England for us.The spread is 8 points, which seems generous given this is the worst England pack either of us can remember. We won’t be shocked if Italy do it, but look to Italy-Ireland last year for a template for this game – Italian missed chances and away win.

France v Ireland

On paper it’s nigh on impossible to see where Ireland can win this game.  Lethargic and borderline passive against Wales, a largely identical 15 now soldiers on to Paris, where they simply don’t win, even on their good days.  France, as is customary, have a made a few changes to their team, but only one looks to weaken their side.  Harinordoquy and Maestri offer lineout options, while Poux is a technical scrummager par excellence (see what we did there, Gerry?).  The only peculiar one is the starting of Szarzewski over the dogged Servat.  Sure, the great Toulouse hooker can’t go on forever, but while Szarsewski looks like a Roman God, he doesn’t really play like one.  The backline is unchanged, and looks set to purr; there are some big chaps in there too.

These games in Paris usually go one way: Ireland often make a reasonably good start, often creating, but failing to score a chance in the first few minutes before France up the tempo, and clinically rack up the points.  A final twist is usually provided with France falling asleep at the wheel late on (a few terrible substitutions can go some way to helping here) and letting Ireland back into the game.  Ireland’s only chance of winning is to get the first try and put doubt into the minds of the Frenchmen.  They would also do well not to fawn over the beautiful blue jersey’s and Szarzewski’s immaculate hair – they must be utterly belligerent, feral at the breakdown, maniacal in defence and uninhibited with ball in hand.  So, no chance then!

A curious side note is that our favourite double team Blind Dave and Wayne are back in action this weekend.  While this has been generally lamented, it might just work in Ireland’s favour.  Blind Dave might just have it in the back of his mind to be nice to the lads this week to even things up for his abdication of responsibility on Sunday.  [We’re clinging on to a life raft here folks, we’re utterly desperate!]

Verdict: If the pattern of Ireland delivering good performances only when painted into a corner is to be continued, then expect Ireland to leave absolutely nothing on the freezing-cold Stade de France surface.  Another sterile defeat, and Ireland’s campaign will be moving in worrying parallel with the 2008 Championship.  Either way, France to win.

Wales v Scotland

Wales were probably the most impressive of all the sides last weekend, but it’s pretty easy to look great when you have free ball and the opposition let your huge and talented backs run at them. Ireland’s “gameplan” backfired and play straight into Welsh hands. Yet they nearly lost.

Scotland rucked the English back-row into oblivion, tore plenty of holes in the defensive line and had all the try chances. And lost miserably. How Nick De Luca manages to maintain a spot in the team with his hands is beyond us.

The Welsh won’t find it as easy this week – the Scottish back row are manic and won’t allow the freedom of the park to Wales like Ireland did. The Welsh will welcome back Dan Lydiate for some ball carrying threat from blindside, and the Scots ditched Dan Parks after Robbo belatedly accepted his post-RWC retirement. Ironically, Parks ability to kick behind the skillful but not-that-mobile Welsh 3/4 line might have come in useful – but they’re better off without.

As it stands, Greig Laidlaw will attack the gainline with aplomb in a way not seen since his anaemic attack coach retired from playing, and if – big if – they can cut out the handling errors, we might see Scotland actually score some points. Maybe even a try!  They seem to do better on their travels than in the pressurised cauldron of Murrayfield.  Wales will look to get their backs on the ball at speed, and if they do, it’s difficult to see any problems for them. If Phillips, North and Davies are prominent again, you can bet Wales have done enough.

Verdict: Scotland are limpetty and difficult to play against, and we’re going against the usual writing off. We think they will get it together some day and explode in semi-glorious fashion. Not today though – Wales to eke it out, but it will be clsoer than the 12 point spread.

by whiffofcordite on February 9, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Dan Parks, Ritual hammering in Paris, Six Nations, Stadio Olimpico

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 9, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/09/six-nations-match-previews-week-2/

Should have gone to Specsavers

It’s Sunday in Little Britain and Wayne is bringing his friend Blind Dave on a trip to Dublin. Suddenly there’s an incident and Blind Dave puts his flag up.

Wayne: What is it Dave?
Dave: Dangerous tackle. 4 red.
Wayne: Dangerous tackle. Are you sure? What happened? What’s your recommendation?
Dave: Picked him up, turned him over, drove him into the ground. Yellow card.
Wayne: Yellow card? Are you sure?
Dave: Yeah.
Wayne: Definitely a yellow. That sounds like a tip tackle Dave and I know you don’t like that.
Dave: Yeah I know.
Wayne: But you said that tackles above the line of the shoulders have the potential to cause serious injury and that you’d noted that a worrying trend had emerged whereby players responsible for such tackles were not being suitably sanctioned.
Dave: Yeah I know.
Wayne: So you’re sure its a yellow.
Dave: Yeah.
*Wayne walks away*
Wayne: Captain! And four. Dangerous tackle – yellow card.

Dave: Tip tackle. Red card.

Oh dear. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so close to the truth.

by whiffofcordite on February 6, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Blind Dave Pearson, Six Nations, Stevie Wonder

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 6, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/06/should-have-gone-to-specsavers/

Six Nations Week 1: Wayne (Barnes)’s World

Week 1 has passed, and nothing really has changed. France are still great, England are still rubbish, Ireland still have no gameplan, Scotland can’t score tries, Wales are quite useful and Italy don’t win away.

But we decided to flesh out the above into something more concrete instead.  Our Week 1 Review, split by champions and old nags:

The Winners’ Enclosure

France

A four try win with a minimum of fuss is a reasonable start for France.  They didn’t look any great shakes for large stretches, but late in the second half you could see them start to enjoy themselves.  Wesley Fofana had a good debut, and his partnership with Rougerie is going to cause a lot of teams a lot of problems.  Louis Picamoles was transformed from a pussy cat at the World Cup to his wrecking ball best here.  Happily for France, their favourite opponenets, Ireland are coming to town for their habitual beating next week.  The fixture list is set up nicely, and the final game against Wales could be a decider.

Happiness Index: 3/5 – decent start to the new campaign, but the French public will demand a more complete performance next week

England

Ugh, that didn’t make for pleasant viewing.  New players, new captain, new gameplan… but the song remains the same.  It’s reassuring to see some things never change, and England just can’t fall out of love with the bosh.  Their backrow was thouroughly outplayed, and only when Morgan came on did they have any decent carrier on the pitch, but they defended doggedly and allowed Scotland to shoot themselves in the foot just enough to win the game.  For a scratch team it’s not the worst of starts, but going to a passionate Stadio Olimpico in Rome will be tough. The media loved it though – Stephen Jones was even saying how good Botha, Dowson and Farrell were.

Happiness Index: 3/5 – one away win in the locker, if they can get another next week they are looking at a successful championship

Wales

Missing four tight forwards, losing Warburton at half time, and with Rhys ‘Toto Schillachi’ Priestland having a shocker, you’d think the writing was on the wall.  But oh me oh my, what a group of matchwinners these guys have.  A sensational backrow, and the biggest, bruisingest, and skilfulest backs in the competition.  Roberts looked short of form, but Jonathan Davies boshed hole after hole in the Irish defence, while George North looks like the player of the age.  Hard running, clean lines, great angles. 

Happiness Index: 5/5 – Wales will be thrilled.  Gatty once again outfoxed Kidney and is a shoo-in for the Lions job.  Scotland at home next, and a great chance to build momentum.

The Losers Corner
Ireland:

Gerry Ending: Blind Dave Pearson! *foam* Wayne Barnes!! *froth* Les Kiss does know how to run an attack!!! *thumps desk* Mother Deccie of Kidcutta!!!!

Farmer Farrelly Ending: Sexton missed kicks! *thumps desk* Miniscule Leinster centres!! *foam* Where is Ooooooooooohhh James Downey!!! *froth* Padre PiO’Mahoney!!!!

Mega Happy Honest Ending: Ireland were like pussycats at ruck time – only substitute Donnacha Ryan attempted to slow Welsh ball, and he got speared for his troubles. Without BOD, Ireland were clueless at the breakdown, and clueless on how to play. Oh how we hoped the noises about an actual gameplan were true – why we believed them is another thing. The personnel sweep all before them in Europe at provincial level, but look like befuddled fools in a green shirt – it’s time for some coaching please. And by coaching, we don’t mean putting the video analyst in charge of attack. 

Happiness Index: 1/5 – very difficult to see how Ireland can have a good championship from here.  Paris beckons. Tomorrow we’ll be looking in more depth at Ireland’s woes.
Scotland:

Now, this is a tough one. Yes, Scotland lost in desperate fashion. Yes, they butchered countless chances. Yes, Robbo did select Dan Parks, who will surely never play for his country, or Scotland, again. And yet. We felt there were some chinks of light. When the Embra halves came on after 55 odd minutes, they played with real speed and purpose. The laughable handling of the players outside killed a lot of moves, but in at least some cases, they were genuinely unfamiliar with the whole “gainline” thing Greg Laidlaw was at and had to reach for flat passes. And the Scottish back row were brilliant, Ross Rennie’s mastery of ruck time harking back to the days of JJ and Finlay Calder. Robbo made a serious boo-boo in picking this team, and confidence is no doubt rock bottom, but they might actually have something to build on – if Laidlaw gets picked to start, Scotland might actually have *whisper* a platform.

Happiness index: 2/5 – at least they’ll get the right team on the pitch now.  All is not lost, but that was a huge opportunity blown

Italy:

An 18 point defeat was within the bookies pre-match spread and Italy will be happy with that. Granted, the French barely broke sweat, but this was a match Italy were never going to win – what they needed was to leave Paris with their dignity intact. And they did that. They looked pretty breezy, contributed to a good quality and open match, and looked kind of rejuvenated. Clearly, without a 10, they are going to struggle, but they have a great back row, a good coach, a decent pair of centres and, now, a spring in their step. In terms of next week, they got the ideal result from England – an absolutely dire performance with a win, which means few changes are likely. Italy have never beaten England, but they will be waiting in the long grass of the Stadio Olimpico this Saturday.

Happiness Index: 3/5 will feel they’ve a good chance of grinding England into the dirt

by whiffofcordite on February 6, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Ireland, Italy, Pope Benedeccie, Scotland, Six Nations

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 6, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/06/six-nations-week-1-wayne-barness-world/

Six Nations: Match Previews

After all the drama surrounding team selections, squad announcements and even refereeing appointments, the small matter of the actual games of Six Nations rugby take place this weekend.  We’re looking forward to it.  Now for the bit where we put ourselves in the firing line and predict what will happen.

Scotland v England

We hummed and we hawed.  We saw the England squad and thought they couldn’t possibly win.  Then we saw the Scotland team, with Dan Parks at 10, and thought they couldn’t possibly win.  Then we cried for a bit thinking about the two hours of our lives we’d each be giving up to watch the blasted game.  Then, finally, we saw the England team and went back to thinking they wouldn’t win.

This one’s all about the New England – new captain, new players, new attitude, new interim coach, new playing style.  The trouble is none of it looks all that great.  Mouritz Botha, Geoff Parling and Phil Dowson are adequate Boshiership journeymen rather than exciting new talents, while England appear to be looking to the least creative of the good sides in the country for their midfield (10 – 13 all Sarries!). Chris Robshaw captains the team, and he’s a good player, but looks a bit knackered and will be out of position on the openside.


Verdict: We’re going for Scotland because we just can’t see how England will be able to deliver the gameplan they’re talking about.  Lancaster says they’re looking to play at a high tempo, but high tempo requires quick ball, and just who is going to serve that up? The Scottish back row will be licking their chops at the lightweight trio England have served up – Scotland to shade a dour affair.

France v Italy

France will be looking to hit the ground running and have every chance of doing so.  They seem to have the right team on the pitch, something they haven’t had for some time.  Louis Picamoles keeps out Harinordoquy in what looks a position of real strength (Fulgence Ouedraogo can’t even make the 22), while Trinh-Duc is welcomed back to the starting line-up, with Beauxis a handy reserve.  All eyes will be on Clermont’s razor-sharp Wesley Fofana, who looks like a potential star of the tournament.

It should all be too much for Italy.  The Italians were poor in the World Cup, and never looked like troubling Ireland or Australia.  They just don’t travel.  Their home games, now in the Stadio Olimpico, will be worth watching and they may try to keep some of their powder dry for England’s arrival there next week.

Verdict: this one is set up for France to rack up some points; we expect them to win by a couple of scores.

Ireland v Wales

Obviously, this is the most interesting game from our perspective. Even before the Welsh squad started dropping like flies, we fancied that this was a game Ireland were targetting – the noises from the squad echo those we heard prior to England in March and Australia in October. Now, with the Welsh down several front-liners, Ireland will be confident as well as motivated.

We foresee an urgent and effective Ireland performance with some tries thrown in. Wales will play a smart game and target our weaknesses (second row in the loose and Earls’ defence at 13) but it won’t be enough. Ireland really want this one, and nearly all the squad go in brimful of confidence after the HEC group stages – stark contrast to Wales.

Verdict: We don’t think Ireland will blow Wales away early like they did to England, but they will have enough. This could be quite high-scoring – the Welsh backs are more than useful – 30-20 or something. Ireland by more than a score

by whiffofcordite on February 2, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in 5 missed tackles vs Wales, England, France, Ireland, Italy, Ooooooooooooooooooohh Brad Barritt, Scotland, Six Nations, Wales

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 2, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/02/six-nations-match-previews/

Six Nations: Vive La Revolution!

Pope Benedeccie I announced his team for the opening Six Nations match and there weren’t many surprises. The 22 is picked almost entirely from the World Cup squad, with the only newbie being Peter O’Mahony taking his place on the bench. Good for Frankie’s day job anyway. Not one of those ‘promoted’ from the Wolfhounds game made the final call. Well, what else were you expecting?
This was not a selection to get the pulses racing, but, truth be told, it was never going to be. As we flagged earlier this week, Ireland’s fate this season rests more on their ability to deliver a more potent gameplan in attack than with rafts of new personnel. There were only ever four starting berths where there was uncertainty, and even that was minimal. We knew all along Earls was going to get the nod, and made our peace with this decision. There are some outraged voices out there over this selection, but with no overwhelmingly obvious choice, Earls is a good bet. Yes, his defence is a concern, no, he’s not a natural centre, but those who lament Kidney’s conservatism (count us in) can at least be consoled by the notion that it’s a choice built for attack.
Sexton and Murray starting was pretty well flagged. Great and all as ROG is playing, few expected Kidney to give him a start in this one given his age. It’s in everyone’s interests to give Sexton and Murray an extended run in the side, and hope they can provide Ireland with a stable half-back pairing for years to come. Both undoubtedly have the talent to do so. Reddan can count himself unlucky, but he has been poor on his two most recent outings.
Which bring us to … Donncha … our old friend, selected at 4.. What can we say? It’s clearly a selection based on incumbency rather than form or potential contribution to the team or building for RWC15.
We have moaned about Donncha in the past, but have still advocated his selection, based on his partnership with Paulie and a lack of viable alternatives.
Neither argument now holds water. Donnacha Ryan has usurped him at Munster, started 5 HEC games, 4 alongside Paulie, in a campaign where Munster have gone 100% and earned a home quarter-final. Dan Tuohy started all 6 alongside the very Paulie-esque Johann Muller in a campaign where Ulster demolished Leicester and nearly turned over Clermont in Clermont. Both have earned rave reviews for their performances.
Either is a superior option than Donncha, who is more underpowered than ever, cannot pass, rarely gets across the gainline with ball in hand, and rarely prevents an opponent getting past the gainline. Ok, so he is an expert at “unseen work” (Egg and Palla wish they could trot out that line come appraisal time) and also at the choke tackle, which is clearly top of the list of priorities.
We would argue that if indeed Ireland’s game is to be remodelled around more ball-in-hand attacking, that more players comfortable with handling the ball are required: Ryan and especially Tuohy are vastly superior in this respect. Ryan is playing in the form of life, and at 28 is in or around his prime. Is he going to be 30 by the time he starts a test match?
It’s worth bearing in mind that this is a massively depleted Wales side, and Ireland should win comfortably with or without Donncha. Vexingly, the likelihood is Donncha will be picked for Paris … where he will be shredded. The man has been a loyal servant who has been a part of every triumph this team has had, but his time has gone. Paulie’s provincial partner, Ryan, should have started, with Tuohy on the bench.
by whiffofcordite on February 1, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Conservatism, Deccie Kidney, Donncha O'Callaghan, Fat Payday for Frankie, Six Nations

Posted by whiffofcordite on February 1, 2012

https://whiffofcordite.com/2012/02/01/six-nations-vive-la-revolution/

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