World Cup Preview: Canada, Japan, Tonga

Group A Opposition: New Zealand, France

Pedigree: Canada have the best pedigree here, with a quarter-final appearance in 1991 in their locker, and generally respectable showings. Japan have just 1 win in 6 tournaments (which, oddly, Egg Chaser was at), and Tonga, historically the weakest Pacific Island, had their best showing in 2007, winning two games and running eventual winners South Africa close.

Players to watch: Former Kiwi and Leaguer Cooper Vuna is coming off a decent year with the Melbourne Rebels, and could shine on the Tongan wing. And don’t forget Barnesy wet dream Oooooohh Soane Tonga’uiha.

Cherry Blossom scrumhalf Atsushi Hiwasa was named emerging Asian player of the year this year, and if the lightweight Japanese forwards manage to get him some decent ball, he could make an impression.

Canada boast Paulie-basher and Clermont battleaxe Jamie Cudmore and the splendidly-named (and splendid) back-rower Chauncey O’Toole – who may well be an Osprey next season.

Good Tournament: Tonga will fancy themselves to win twice and run a big gun close. Japan will want to beat Canada, and repeat their PNC treatment of Tonga. Canada just want a win, but might be quietly confident of a second.

Bad Tournament: Tonga losing to a fellow minnow, or the others going home empty handed.

Prospects: All 3 of the small fry in Group A seem to be on the up. Japan won their first Pacific Nations Cup this month, pipping Tonga to the title with a last minute bonus point try against 12-man Fiji. The traditional Japanese weakness is size, so it was a pleasant surprise to see them deal with the Pacific Islanders. Tonga themselves were relatively happy with a second place finish – it took a surprise 28-27 victory for Japan to ultimately deny them the title (which also would have been a first).

However, Tonga have the comfort of knowing they have some big guns to bring back in, unlike the Japanese, and 6 weeks in camp pre-tournament (2 more than in 07 where they almost stunned the Bok seconds) will likely leave them primed to go from the off. If it were France first up, you might have half an expectation of a contest, but Les Bleus play them last and will be in their stride by then, and tend to enjoy the open rugby Tonga serve up.

Meanwhile Canada had a comfortable win over Italy A in the Churchill Cup and gave a respectable account of themselves against a Saxons side in the final which contained more than a few senior caps. And in last year’s edition, they knocked over France A. They are well-organised and well-funded, and are not to be underestimated – they have made life very uncomfortable for most 6N sides at some point (you may recall a last minute Rog penalty to salvage a draw back in Gatty’s time).

Verdict: This is essentially a 3 country mini-league – NZ and France will beat them all. Japan will go home luckless and winless (again), with the consolation of Mils Muliaina giving their domestic league some kudos. Tonga will be the one to put the heart across a big gun if they are under-estimated, but we have a sneaking suspicion the Canucks are going to run them close – the big game for Tonga is against the All Blacks, and Canada will be sitting in the long grass a few days later. Canada to win twice.

World Cup Preview: France

Group A Opposition: New Zealand, Tonga, Japan, Canada

Pedigree: Close, but no cigar. Beaten finalists twice, and usually find themselves at the sharp end of the tournament. Generally capable of one huge performance, but can’t back it up. Still, New Zealand know all about them.

Players to watch: Backrow looks a particular strength. Thierry Dusatoir holds things together when all around him are collapsing, while space will need to be found for Louis Picamoles, who thrived at Toulouse this year, and Fulgence Ouedraogo, who was inspirational for Montpellier. Could Harinordoquy be squeezed out? Further back, Lievremental might have left WoC hero Clement at home, but we are very excited about Maxime Mermoz – Perpignan were classy with him and ordinary without.

Good Tournament: France have the talent and the set piece platform to make a serious statement, and should be looking to make the final.

Bad Tournament: If they fail to make the semi-final, Lievremont will be in trouble.

Prospects: It all comes down to the whims of one man: Marc Lievremont. Who will he pick? Nobody knows. What style will his team play? We haven’t a clue. After four years of erratic selections and baffling press conferences, they haven’t really progressed. They still beat Ireland, struggle against England, ambush one SH giant and get tonked by another (or even the same one) every year.

The squad Lievremont has selected is typically enigmatic. Lionel Beauxis and Clement Poitrenaud will be spending September at home. After appearing to be tied to Chabal for four years, he has finally cut him loose. Bayonne’s Yoann Huget – a poor man’s Shane Horgan at best – has survived the cut thus far, but there is seemingly no place for the vastly superior Julien Malzieu. And we still haven’t worked out what Damien Traille is for.

Nonetheless, there is an impressive depth of talent at France’s disposal. The backrow we have already discussed; and France should have the best scrum in the tournament, regardless of which props they pick from Domingo, Mas, Barcella, Poux and Marconnet. In Maxime Medard and Vincent Clerc they have outside backs capable of changing matches. At half-back, Parra is a marvellous player, and Francois Trinh-Duc, while not to everyone’s taste, has had a great season with Montpellier. The question remains: will the manager gel the team?

Lievremont has already spoken about putting out a B-team in the game against New Zealand, under the (not entirely ridiculous) logic that they won’t beat them twice. Assuming they do away with Tonga and the minnows, this would leave them with a probable quarter-final against the old enemy, England. Les Rosbifs dumped France out in the semi-finals in 2003 and 2007, with France fancied on both occasions. It would be a rare tournament where France do not put in one memorable performance; in all likelihood this will have to be it if they are to make it to the semi-finals or beyond. Otherwise, the guillotine beckons for Lievremont.

Verdict: Despite huge talent and one eye already on Johnno’s men, they will find it hard to overcome England in a quarter final.

Rugby World Cup: Irelandwatch Episode 1

Over the next few weeks we’ll be keeping a close watch on goings on in the Ireland camp.  This week brought the news that Kidney and his management team (bar Gaffney, who is going home to Australia after the RWC) have been rewarded with a new two-year contract on the eve of the World Cup.  We can’t help but be reminded of the similar decision in 2007 when Eddie was given a four-year deal, only for a disastrous tournament and subsequent Six Nations to beset the team.  So, we are down from four years to two – is this a case of learning by degrees for the IRFU?

In a sense, they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.  Give the contract, and we are all wincing as we recall Eddie’s Four More Years.  Don’t give it, and the question of the coaching team’s futures will follow them around the tournament.  But casting a glance around the other World Cup hopefuls, it does look as though discretion is considered the better part of valour: of the teams with ambitions of lifting the Webb Ellis Cup (which we claim to have) none of South Africa, France, England or New Zealand have offered their coach a contract beyond the World Cup – only Australia have made the commitment.

One comment from IRFU chief exec Philip Browne did cause us concern: he cited the ‘significant progress in the last two years in terms of results’.  Come again?  Ireland have won three from five in those two distinctly mediocre Six Nations chamionships and two from four in the November Internationals.  Pull the other one – our standards are much higher now – with four 6N wins and a big Southern Hemisphere scalp a minimum requirement.

What’s most worrying is the fear that the 2007 parallels could start to stack up over the coming weeks.  There’s more than a touch of Eddie about Deccie’s idiosyncratic team selections and excessive loyalty to certain players, as well as his lack of enthusiasm for using his bench.  Throw in a more than likely lopsided squad without a single openside and you might think Eddie was still there, pulling the strings behind the scenes.

But these fears need to be counter-balanced by the fact that Deccie’s management style couldn’t be more different to Eddie’s.  He’ll empower the players rather than dictate and, crucially, he looks set to get the physical side of preparation right.  Ireland were woefully underooked in 2007, but with five games in August, four against test level opponents, there is no chance of that this time around.  He’ll have them almost feral by the time we take the pitch against Australia in Auckland.  Let’s try to keep the faith for now.

World Cup Preview: New Zealand

Group A Opposition: France, Tonga, Japan, Canada

Pedigree: Won first time out at home in 87, but didn’t win in 95, 03 and 07 despite being the best team in the tournament. Not good enough. Repeated buckling under pressure has meant its squeaky-bum time already in NZ – the latest worry is that the Crusaders only got all the way to the final of the Super XV despite playing no home games, but didn’t win. Panic stations!

Players to watch: Were do we start? The best scrum in rugby, the most exciting young lock in the world (Sam Whitelock), a frenetic back row including a man who is allowed to enter rucks from anywhere (all joking aside, McCaw plays the referee better than any other captain around), the best outhalf in history, three outstanding centres, and strike backs so good Dougie Howlett wouldn’t get near the team. We’ll be leaning back and appreciating the brilliance of Dan Carter, the insouciant genius of SBW, and young Israel Dagg – a potential superstar.

Good Tournament: They must win every match, preferably with lots of tries. No pressure then.

Bad Tournament: With the way they have been playing, not winning the tournament would constitute an absolute disaster.

Prospects: Since 1995, they have specialized in peaking between tournaments. After 2007, they took a deep breath, sent apparent heir-apparent Robbie Deans to the then hapless Wallabies and persevered with Smiler Henry. Luckily, he has raised them to even greater heights, helped by a production line of simply fantastic players. Post-2009 rule changes have played right into their hands, and with a team full of brilliant support runners and intelligent footballers, they have only been beaten once since June 2009, and that was a perfect storm of Aussie brilliance and Stephen Donald (since banished for his crimes) ineptitude.

Writing pre-Tri-Nations, there is ample opportunity for us to look foolish, but we can’t see them losing another match this year. The pressure is becoming unbearable, but the last 4 years has been all about building a team so good that, even if they choke, they will win anyway. The focus, intensity and hunger of this team are top notch, and the age profile looks ideal.

We foresee 4 wins in the group stages by 40+ points (including over a French B team wearing an ill-conceived NZ-goading shirt), a quarter-final stroll over Argentina or Scotland, a swatting aside of the Boks or Ireland in the semis then finally getting a game in the final, but still overcoming the Wallabies by 15 points or so. The fact they are still close to even money is a reflection of the choke premium, but at home, they aren’t going to come close to losing a match. Richie doesn’t even need to commit breakdown murder for them to stroll home. But he will anyway.

Verdict: Champions at last.

The World Cup: It’s Coming

We’ve got World Cup fever here at Cordite Towers.  The big kick off is just 45 days away at the time of writing, and the build up starts here.  Once the tournament begins, Palla will be heading down under for three weeks with Ms Ovale and Little Ovale, and will be reporting regularly from various campsites throughout the country.  Egg Chaser will be keeping things together back in Ireland, and setting his alarm clock for 4am on a nightly basis (even for Georgia v Romania).

Over the next six weeks, we’ll be guiding you through the tournament on a group by group basis: we’ll have a look at each side’s prospects, we’ll highlight some players we think can have a big impact, and we’ll be monitoring the progress of the Tri Nations and Northern Hemisphere warm up games to see how the major contenders are shaping up.  Needless to say, we’ll be following the Ireland camp with an especially beady eye.  We’ll even offer some advice on managing the difficult kick-off times.  In fact we’ll be doing everything bar giving a history lesson on Maori culture.  Egg Chaser will be kicking things off with a look at the hosts, New Zealand in a matter of hours…

Ireland’s World Cup 30 – Summary

So, after an exhaustive 2 week process, we have whittled Ireland’s RWC hopefuls down to 2 sets of 30 – Deccie’s and ours. Somewhat suprisingly, given Deccie’s chronically odd selections, we have 26 names in common.

We have amended our thoughts silghtly at hooker after a vigourous debate below the line – Jerry should go if his is fully fit and firing, just like Fez and blog friend and favourite Rob Kearney.

The disgreements are as follows:

  1. Dan Tuohy-Donnacha Ryan. Given Dan has missed the cut for the initial 43 man squad, he must be out of the reckoning. Given this, its a choice between Ryan and Kevin McLaughlin (and Biiiiiiiiiiiiiig Bob Casey if life were funnier). Ryan is probably better suited to second row than Locky, so we tentatively agree with Deccie at this stage of the selection process.
  2. Denis Leamy-Shane Jennings. This is a straight choice between a classic openside and a brawling spoiler who can play 6 and 8. Jennings is coming back from injury but adds something extra to the loose forward division whereas Leamy can’t get past James Coughlan into the Munster team. This looks a no-brainer, but Deccie and Denis go back a long way. 
  3. Tomás O’Leary-Isaac Boss. Speaking of going back a long way, Deccie loves Tomás so much, he gave him his HEC debut at outside centre back in the day. As soon as O’Leary’s pass wasn’t absolutely abysmal, he displaced Strings as first-choice Munster scrummie. And when O’Leary’s pass is functioning, he is a pretty good player. Unfortunately for all, it isn’t right now. And he is injured. Boss has most of O’Leary’s qualities and is in form and should go. But we all know he won’t.
  4. Paddy Wallace-Fergus McFadden. Here we have another Deccie favourite against an in-form and upcoming rival. Wallace, as we have said before, takes a lot of heat, but is a quality distributing 12 and has the potential to add a different dimension to our centre play. But he is out of form and coming back from injury. McFadden has had a good season, albeit often not at centre, and just about deserves to go ahead of Paddy. Ooooooooooooooohh James Downey has had an even better season, but is off the radar, and probably doesn’t have the calibre anyway.

We welcome any additional thoughts, and full squads are below:

Deccie WoC
Prop Cian Healy Cian Healy
Prop Mike Ross Mike Ross
Prop Tom Court Tom Court
Prop John Hayes John Hayes
Hooker Rory Best Rory Best
Hooker Sean Cronin Sean Cronin
Hooker Jerry Flannery Jerry Flannery
Second Row Paul O’Connell Paul O’Connell
Second Row Donncha O’Callaghan Donncha O’Callaghan
Second Row Leo Cullen Leo Cullen
Second Row Donnacha Ryan Dan Tuohy
Back Row Stephen Ferris Stephen Ferris
Back Row David Wallace David Wallace
Back Row Jamie Heaslip Jamie Heaslip
Back Row Sean O’Brien Sean O’Brien
Back Row Denis Leamy Shane Jennings
Scrum Half Tomas O’Leary Isaac Boss
Scrum Half Eoin Reddan Eoin Reddan
Scrum Half Conor Murray Conor Murray
Fly Half Ronan O’Gara Ronan O’Gara
Fly Half Jonathan Sexton Jonathan Sexton
Centre Gordon D’Arcy Gordon D’Arcy
Centre Brian O’Driscoll Brian O’Driscoll
Centre Paddy Wallace Fergus McFadden
Outside Back Tommy Bowe Tommy Bowe
Outside Back Keith Earls Keith Earls
Outside Back Luke Fitzgerald Luke Fitzgerald
Outside Back Andrew Trimble Andrew Trimble
Outside Back Rob Kearney Rob Kearney
Outside Back Geordan Murphy Geordan Murphy

Ireland’s World Cup 30 – Outside Backs

Phew, we are finally there. After naming 24 who we would bring and 24 who Deccie will (guess which category Denis Leamy fits into), we get to the last line – the piano players.

How many will go? Six we think – Ireland are well-stocked out wide, so there should be need to do an Eddie and bring a Brian Carney to hold tackle bags. There are going to be some quality players, and Gavin Duffy, left disappointed.

Who is certain to travel? Because of the competition in this sector, there are only two nailed-on certainties to go – Tommy Bowe and Keith Earls. Bowe is the classiest footballer in the squad, apart from Him, and all Ireland’s attacking invention appears to come through him (or Him) these days – he pops up everywhere in the line and his intelligent handling opens gaps for the rest of the backline. We heart him. Earls is another key component of the backline – his defence and open-field running are top class, and even Ludd McGahan seems to have worked out he isn’t a centre.

In addition to the above, Lukey Roysh and Andrew Trimble, B.Div. (2011) are around 95% sure of going. In Luke’s case, its scarcely deserved – his form this season has been poor, especially after the statements he was making in August about being the Leinster and Ireland 15. An easy case can be made that there are six players in better nick than he is – he’s a lucky boy that form is firmly below familiarity in Deccie’s list of priorities. Trimble has gone from strength to strength this year, and is finally becoming better known for his try-scoring than his God-bothering. After out-Bathing Bath last year, this season was less spectacular, but more consistent and ultimately fulfilling. He could be starting.

These four can start learning how to say “If you love Samoa so much, why don’t you play for them” in Maori, for sledging Mils Muliaina and Jerome Kaino in the final.

Who is scrapping out for the last spots? Here’s where the fun starts. Even with the unfortunate Shane Horgan out of the equation, Deccie will have to pick two from Gavin Duffy, Felix Jones, Rob Kearney, Fergus McFadden (if he doesn’t fit in at centre) and Geordan Murphy. And if Ian Dowling wasn’t forced to retire hurt, this list would contain no extra names.

Even though Bob can’t pass the ball, there is a place in the squad for a rock solid full back with a huge boot, especially with one eye on Italy and half an eye on the Boks in the quarter finals. Presumably he will get enough game time to prove his fitness in August, and if he can manage to jog from one end of Grafton Street to the other. he is on the plane.

Which leaves 1 from 4. Three full backs and a wing/centre. Of the full backs, Felix Jones in undoubtedly in the best form, but he has never played HEC or international rugby, and would represent a gamble. Gavin Duffy plays consistently at a lower level, but he has RWC experience (seriously!) and would represent Connacht’s only tourist if he made it, as Sean Cronin will be a Leinster man in September. Geordan Murphy is injured, but on form adds an extra counter-attacking dimension to the 15 shirt – he would be the horse for the Australia course if he was at 100%. Similar to Kearney, we expect Murphy to get good game time in August to get his fitness up, which doesn’t bode well for Jones and Duffy – its hard to see them getting a chance to make a case for their inclusion.

McFadden offers more versatility and is to some extent a known quantity. You will see him getting a wing shirt ahead of Fitzy or Trimble in August if he is in the mix in this position.

Any bolters? Felix Jones has been great since he came back, and is deservedly in the shake-up, albeit distinctly unfortunate with the stellar names ahead of him in the queue. In most other countries, Craig Gilroy would qualify as a bolter too, but we have too many options for that.

Should go (fitness permitting): Tommy Bowe, Keith Earls, Luke Fitzgerald, Rob Kearney, Geordan Murphy, Andrew Trimble (note: we have selected McFadden at centre – if he is overlooked there, we would have him in ahead of Fitzgerald). Jones should be ahead of Duffy on the standby list.
Will go (fitness permitting): Tommy Bowe, Keith Earls, Luke Fitzgerald, Rob Kearney, Geordan Murphy, Andrew Trimble

Ireland’s World Cup 30 – Inside Backs

The penultimate post in the series looks at the fly-half and centres quandry.  Egg Chaser will wrap things up on Friday by looking at the back three.

How many will go? Two fly halves, three centres.

Who is certain to travel? It will come as little surprise to Ronan O’Gara, Jonny Sexton, Brian O’Driscoll and Gordon D’Arcy when Deccie informs them that they are going down under.  These four can purchase their copy of Ki Te Whaoiao’s An Introduction to Maori Culture and Society.

Who is scrapping out for the last spots? Dedicated outside centre cover is thin on the ground.  If the unthinkable were to happen to Brian O’Driscoll and he should miss a game it is likely that one of the outside backs, probably Tommy Bowe or Keith Earls would step in to the breach.

One man who is likely to go as cover for Dorce and the two fly-halves is Paddy Wallace.  A couple of high profile mistakes and the images of his face being mashed in the 2009 Six Nations have made Paddy a bit of a punchbag among Irish rugby fans, but the truth is that he is a classy distributing centre, and one of the best passers of the ball in the country.

He was in Eddie’s 2003 and 2007 squads as a reserve out-half (the reserve in 2007), and his ability to cover 10 and 12 and offer an alternative ‘second five-eighth’ option at 12 gives Kidney another way of playing.  So far so good.  But the truth is that he is not even close to being an international 10.  If Sexy and ROG were both to get injured, Ireland may as well pack up and go home – the notion that Wallace should be brought to cover this remote eventuality is a nonsense.  Even more nonsensical is the idea that Wallace covers full-back.  A certain esteemed Irish Times journalist has repeatedly peddled this line, and it has been used to justify Paddy’s selection as half-time orange provider throughout the Six Nations, but it is hard to think of any attributes of a modern 15 that Wallace possesses.

So his value should be measured on his ability at 12.  And we like Wallace as a 12, but he has not had the best of seasons with Ulster or Ireland.  Menwhile, Fergus McFadden offers cover across the three-quarter line and is coming off the back of a superb season with Leinster, even if he is not yet a consistent starter in the big games.  Tigerish in contact, with enough gas to play on the wing, and the ability to place-kick, he should be taking his place on the plane in September.

A final option, and an increasingly fashionable one, is playing a big man at 12 to bosh up the middle.  After all, didn’t BOD mesh wonderfully with Jamie Roberts on the Lions tour?  The man to play this role for Ireland would be Ooooooooooooooohhh James Downey.  WoC was surprised to see Downey show reasonable hands for Northampton in the HEC semi-final, and felt we had perhaps underestimated him.  The feeling remains that he is probably not quite up to international level, though this is one option that would have been worth exploring before now.  Downey didn’t make the 43-man training squad this week, so the ship has probably sailed.

We think Deccie will plump for Wallace, with the fly-half cover working in his favour, but it is possible (particuarly in light of Shaggy’s injury) that Fergus could still make it as a utility back, more of which anon…

Any bolters? Nevin Spence had made a bolt with a string of impressive performances for Ulster, and is unfortunate to be ruled out through injury.  His time will come.

Should go: Ronan O’Gara, Jonny Sexton, Brian O’Driscoll, Gordon D’Arcy, Fergus McFadden
Will go: Ronan O’Gara, Jonny Sexton, Brian O’Driscoll, Gordon D’Arcy, Paddy Wallace

Ireland’s World Cup 30 – Back Row

Wednesday’s post on the second row generated quite a bit of comment, so today we turn our attention to the back row.  Typically a strength of Irish teams, 2011 will be no different.  Indeed, there will be plenty of fine backrows sitting at home this September – Roger Wilson, James Coughlan, Dominic Ryan and Rhys Ruddock are all a fair way off contending a spot.
How many will go? We see it as five dedicated backrows as well as the 4/6 option, as discussed here.
Who is certain to travel? Jamie Heaslip, Sean O’Brien and David Wallace can start thinking about what rain gear to pack – they are going.  If – and it is a big if – Stephen Ferris can pronounce himself fit, he is on the plane, and would put Ireland in the ridiculous position of having four world class back rows and only three starting places to put them in.
Who is scrapping out for the last spots? A fit Ferris would leave just one spot available.  And while the back row is home to Ireland’s greatest depth, it is utterly crucial Declan Kidney gets the decision of who to bring in the last slot correct.  Most indicators would point to Denis Leamy getting the nod.  He’s a hardened, experienced international and a Kidney favourite who made all the Six Nations matchday squads.  The other main contender, Shane Jennings, has never appeared to be held in high regard by the Irish coaching staff.  If Leamy goes and Jennings doesn’t, it will be a grievous error.  Shane Jennings must go to New Zealand, and here’s why:
  1. Form. Leamy has had a poor season, was a leading figure in Munster’s discipline problems, and found himself dropped to the bench for the ML playoffs.  By contrast, Jennings was consistently excellent for Leinster, never more so than in the second half in Cardiff.
  2. Backrow balance.  If Leamy travels, Ireland’s backrow options will consist of a Number 8, an atypical ball-carrying openside and four blindsides.  Ireland’s ambition of playing running rugby without a specialist groundhog to produce that all-important quick ruck ball is highly unusual – it’s a core principal that if you want to run the ball, somebody has to dedicate himself to winning it on the floor.  There has to be room for the option of playing an out and out 7 for certain games, or at least unleashing one from the bench, and Jennings is the man for the job. 
  3. Plan B. Jennings would offer Ireland a different way of playing – a Plan B if you like.  He would also be crucial to slowing down opposition ball. Leamy is simply a lesser version of Stephen Ferris.
  4. If we do bring four blindsides and no genuine openside, it would be spine-chillingly reminiscent of Eddie’s ill-fated 2007 squad.  He left Heaslip and Gleeson at home and brought a raft of 6’s.  Whiff of Cordite will break out in a cold sweat if we feel we are repeating the same mistakes all over again, and we’re already nervous about several ‘untouchables’ in the XV…

What if Ferris doesn’t make it?  Kidney will probably have Jennings on standby if Ferris doesn’t make it.  We would see Leamy as the best fit as a replacement for Ferris’ power, so he would be our standby.  So, were this the case, we would end up in the same place as Kidney, even if we got there by a different route.  We would feel a little for James Coughlan, though – he has outplayed Leamy in 2011, but the suspicion remains that it is too late in the day for him to make the step up to international standard.

Any bolters?  With options stacked, it’s been hard for bolters to jump the queue.  Rhys Ruddock is highly rated by the coaching ticket, but didn’t get enough game time at the tail end of the seson to make a charge.

Should go: Jamie Heaslip, David Wallace, Sean O’Brien, Stephen Ferris, Shane Jennings.  On standby: Denis Leamy
Will go: Jamie Heaslip, David Wallace, Sean O’Brien, Stephen Ferris, Denis Leamy.  On standby: Shane Jennings

Going backwards

Last week we handed out our Team FAIL gongs. Now, we present the Individual awards. Step forward the weak-willed, the constantly injured, the thuggish and the just plain useless.

On a fairly disastrous Irish tour to NZ and Australia last June, Ed O’Donoghue played against the Barbarians and NZ Maori and acquited himself well. Ed was coming off a good season for Ulster and had secured a move to Leinster. However, in a season where Leinster’s second row was beginning to creak with Trevor Hogan retiring, Devin Toner not really stepping up and Leo Cullen not getting any younger, Ed disappeared. Completely. He isn’t even listed in the programmes any more.

To be truthful, Delon Armitage never totally endeared himself to Whiff of Cordite, with his ridiculous chest thumping and 2009 “tackle” on BOD. This season, however, having lost his hold on the England 15 shirt, we expected him to put the head down. However, he has turned into a poor mans John Terry – when not screaming at officials, he was punching Stephen Myler off the ball. Whatever happened to professionalism?

Whiff of Cordite was at Croke Park in March 2010, fully expecting an(other) Irish Triple Crown to be wrapped up with victory against Scotland. Especially when we scanned the Irish back row and saw the names Ferris, Wallace and Heaslip. But the best back row forward on the pitch that day was John Barclay, and he ended last season as the front-runner for the Lions openside shirt. This season, the expected kick on has not happened. Showing minimal leadership qualities for an underperforming side that desperately needed them, Barclay checked out mid-way through the 6 Nations.

Speaking of Scotland players who seem to have given up, what about Euan Murray? As sanctimonious as ever, Euan’s performance in the 6 Nations was nothing short of embarrassing. Never mind his powder-puff propping, his lack of responsibility and poor attitude saw him ditched mid-way through the tournament by an exasperated Andy Robinson. Another Lions front-runner this time last season, he would struggle to make the plane right now.

On the topic of stroppy tight-heads, Tony Buckley also seems to have thrown in the towel. Back in October, with John Hayes on the verge of actual retirement (as opposed to retirement from scrummaging), Mike Ross not even on the radar and Tom Court playing primarily at loosehead, the Ireland tighthead shirt was Mushy’s for 3 years if he made even the slightest effort at fitness and application. Nine months later, his place on the RWC11 plane is uncertain and he is on his way to a flailing Sale Sharks side. With Andy Powell. And Sam Tuitupou.

Rocky Elsom arrived in the Northern Hemisphere in November on the back of leading a pretty successful Tri-Nations for Australia and a Hong Kong Bledisloe Cup ambushing of NZ. He departed, having decided abusing the touch judge was the best way to rally his weak-scrummaging troops in Italy, as one of the leading men in a Brumbies side expected to challenge for the Super Rugby playoffs. Player power then struck 3 games into the season with Andy Friend departing amid rumours the senior players wanted Stephen Larkham installed. Since then, Rocky has mystifyingly yet to tog out, the Brumbies sink to new lows virtually every week, and the Australian fans don’t want him in the team.

Oh, and has Mike Phillips been on strike recently? After walking out on his 3 year Ospreys contract? The Ospreys have got a lot of heat from WoC recently, but we are on their side on this one.