What’s all this, then? Actual rugby matches between provincial and club sides throughout Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England, Italy and France? Sounds like an intriguing prospect. This lark might even catch on. Northampton vs. Leinster? Perpignan vs. Munster?! This sounds bloody fantastic. We want MORE of this sort of thing. Certainly not less of it anyway. Or some diluted version involving the Portuguese team (‘Except you Julian Bardy, the only player anyone has heard of, you have to play for Clermont’) making up the numbers.
It’ll be a merciful relief to get back to the reliably invigorating business of the Heineken Cup. The preliminary rounds seem so long ago at this stage, with the November series and the endless wranglings in the interim, it almost requires an effort to remember exactly how it’s all poised. Did Munster really lose in Edinburgh? Good Lord, they did! And what a result from Ulster to sack Montpellier on their own turf. Leinster find themselves two-from-two and Connacht have a win over Zebre and ran Saracens to the last play in their first game, prompting a hilarious tweet from Stephen Jones trying to convince everyone – including himself, presumably – that it was a comfortable win for Globo Gym against the ‘non-elite’ Connacht. How quaint all that posturing seems now.
All of which brings us to the glorious double headers, often the highpoint of the calendar. Is there any fresh way to say they often decide the outcome of the pool? Probably not, but who cares – they do. You can cough up a cheap loss in the first two rounds, but only if you atone for it here. The good people at ERC, or Sky, or wherever these things are decided by tend to orchestrate the schedule so the two big boys in each pool cross paths in the back-to-backs, so winning both legs isn’t always a requirement, and simply coming out on top in match points is often enough.
That’s certainly the case with Leinster, who have had a curious season so far. Having won in Ospreys, they made heavy weather of Castres at home but the pool qualifier will come from this match-up in any case. A bonus point on the road will be enough to keep Leinster in the hunt, providing they can win at home. Northampton can be odd, though. Last year they surrendered meekly at home to Ulster, apparently sealing their fate, before improbably turning the tables in Ravenhill of all places. Ben Foden’s injured though, and he provides their creative spark. Over to you, Courtney Lawes, to inflict the damage.
Munster have a different set of parameters. They arguably need to win both games, having lost to Edinburgh in a disastrous opening match. They have the home leg first in what has come to be known as – thanks Gerry – the Sunday mass slot. It’s often lamented, but we have few memories of them playing particularly badly in it and they should have the goods to beat Perpignan in Thomond Park with a bit to spare. The acid test will be trying to go down to the Aime Geral and getting a win. It’s a daunting stadium, but Perpignan themselves don’t intimidate too many teams these days; they currently lie 9th in the Top 14 and Munster are certainly capable of winning there. Last time they went there nobody fancied them at all, but they were rampant. Tomas O’Leary was on fire and Donnacha Ryan came off the bench to announce his talent on the big stage. Perpignan have a monstrous pack and a wonderfully creative outhalf, but, of all the French teams in the HEC, they are probably the one you would want.
Ulster have the easier part of their assignment. They’re in a great position after beating Montpellier, and should be looking for nine points as a minimum return against a Treviso side that hasn’t really picked up where they left off last season. The natty Italians have a habit of making life awkward for Ulster, but got spanked in Ravers earlier this year – Ulster will be pretty confident of snagging 5 points on Saturday, and should have the momentum to grind out a win away. Those 9 points should more or less wrap up a home quarter-final … assuming no flakes like last season’s home loss to the Saints.
And don’t forget Connacht, who play Toulouse, who aren’t quite the – yaswnsville – ‘aristocrats of Europe’ these days, although they did win away to Saracens, which has seen them installed as favourites to win their group. Connacht will struggle in the away tie, but will certainly be targeting a rousing performance at the Sportsground. It’ll be Toulouse’s second visit to the dog track, but the hope that the less than salubrious surroundings will put the Toulousains off their stride proved hopelessly wide of the mark on their first, and Connact – enduring a pretty hopeless season and rock bottom of the Pro12 as it stands – will be in need of some sort of miracle to come out with a win.
