Getting The Job Done

Next weekend’s final round of Heineken Cup matches have relatively little at stake.  Most of the groups have been tied up by now, with the favourites comfortably through.  Toulon, Munster, Toulouse, Leinster and Clermont Auvergne will top their groups, without doubt.  All are qualified, save for Leinster who need a losing bonus point at home to Ospreys, who are bottom of the pool.  The only pool with something real to be resolved is Ulster’s, where the Nordies face Leicester in a winner takes almost all battle to top the pool.  Ulster, though, can lose and still qualify.

By our reckoning, it’s the third year in a row in which there hasn’t been all that much to get excited about in Round Six.  Time was almost everything was up for grabs in the final round of fixtures.  Sky’s ‘as it stands’ top eight would fluctuate by the minute as the action played out across twelve cities in Europe.  The Leinster half of WoC has happy-ish memories of getting soaked to the skin in the RDS watching Leinster labour to a 12-3 win over Edinburgh, while nervously receiving reports from the south of France where Castres were hanging on to a lead against Wasps, before drying out in Crowe’s watching (Mud-)Bath draw 3-3 with Toulouse on a pudding of a pitch at the Rec.  The other half recalls Biarritz trying to stick it up the jumper to close out the game in Ravers, only to give iHumph a last opportunity to put Ulster through to the knockouts for the first time in 12 years, in the 79th minute of the final pool game – he delivered.

The final shakedown of the pools akways seemed to go down to the wire.  And, while we can’t quite confirm, we have heard rumour that some of Munster’s pools down the years occasionally went into the final round unresolved.

But in this season, and the two before it, most of the major issues have been decided before the final denoument.  Last year, once Saracens beat Racing Metro in the fifth round, the make-up of the eight qualifiers was more or less set in stone, and in the previous year, once Connacht beat Harlequins on the final friday night, the remaining games had little import.

So why the lack of drama this year, and in the last couple of seasons?  It appears that the middle order teams have fallen away from the big boys, for whatever reason. If we think about the consistently competitive teams of the noughties, Wasps and Stade have fallen away (almost for good) as the big boys retired, Biarritz’ and Perpignan’s power game doesn’t quite cut the moutarde any more, Ospreys’ Galacticos have buggered off and the Scarlets team of the early noughties faded away. That’s six tough pool draws who are much easier meat these days … if they are even in the tournament at all. It takes a while to build up the muscle memory to get the HEC knockout stage level, but when you get there, you become good at knowing what it takes to stay there.

This year, none of the new breed of middleweights really put it up to top seeds, at least not in terms of accumulating points across the five rounds.

  • Harlequins were beaten home and away by Clermont, and threw in a careless defeat to Scarlets
  • Saracens talk big but when it came down to it, Toulouse swatted them away at home, and held on for a win away.  They are likely to qualify as runners-up though.
  • Gloucester were easily dealt with by Munster in both ties, and somehow lost at home to Edinburgh
  • Perpignan took a French approach to the tournament.  They almost beat Munster which might have changed things but couldn’t see it out when victory beckoned
  • Northampton had a typically see-sawing campaign, winning admirably in Dublin after a hammering at home.  But losing in Castres sealed their fate
  • Big things were expected of Montpellier, but they were tactically outmanoeuvred by Ulster, and with that they gave up
  • Castres were never likely to accumulate many away wins, but they did put it up to Leinster in the RDS

One team that did man up and perform above their level was Cardiff.  They beat Toulon at home and performed creditably in the away match, a touch unlucky to give up a bonus point to three penalty tries when they had players in the bin.  They also managed a hard-earned win away to Glasgow and if they can finish off with a win at home to Exeter, they could qualify for the Amlin.  But for all that, they were never likely to contend the leadership of the group with Toulon.  Another is Connacht, who won their two games against the mighty Zebre, put it up to Saracens at home and of course, won famously in Toulouse.

This year’s pool winners will all, almost certainly, do so with five wins in the bag.  It looks likely that Munster will finish with a whopping 23 points and yet have to make do with an away quarter-final.  Holy smokes!  Five wins used to almost guarantee a home quarter-final, and four wins and enough bonus points would get you through the pool as winners.

The strange thing about it all is that none of the pool winners have played especially well in spite of the huge match-points totals.  They’ve almost qualified in second gear.  On the face of it, Toulouse, Leicester, Munster and Leinster look a pale shadow of former vintages.  Ulster have huffed and uffed through most of their games.  Toulon have squad depth to beat the band, but they happy to rely on their pack’s gargantuan hugeness and take few risks.  Clermont, once again, look like the best team in the tourney, but even they threw in a silly defeat to a hopeless Racing Metro side.

It looks to us as if where the big sides are superior is in managing to do just enough, knowing how to get the job done, ekeing out the win in a clutch game.  Resilience and composure in the white heat of battle count for an awful lot these days.  Munster are masters at it this season, and indeed, pretty much every season.  Indeed, in the match on Saturday, after an hour’s play we tweeted to the effect that Munster had Gloucester’s number, and now just needed to get the necessary scores to put them away.  To the surprise of nobody, within the next ten minutes they did exactly that, putting another 10 points on the board to pull away.  Put simply, they know how to win matches.

Leicester have saved match-points in the dying minutes of two of their away games: a vital losing bonus point in Ravenhill and a last-ditch winning try in Montpellier.  Leinster found themselves in a right old pickle in Castres, but experience counts for a lot and in the end they were able to get themselves back in the match and pull away to win.  Would, say, Northampton or Harlequins – two good teams with aspirations of joining the elite – have had the composure and self-belief to claw their way back in such a position?  Doubtful.

The old cliches about every point being crucial and maximum intensity being required haven’t even applied.  Almost all the pool winners have thrown in one daft defeat to a team vastly inferior to them.  It hasn’t stopped them having their quarter final place wrapped up by week 5.

Tigers on the Horizon

It’s hard to put the finger on why this Ulster fan is so worried about the upcoming HEC rounds, but the pack being shunted all around Ravers by the Brave and the Faithful last Friday night would be a good place to start – Munster got two tries from the maul, and should probably have had a third. Since the slapdown of a potentially difficult (but in the end not so much) Treviso assignment for 10 group points, they’ve struggled past the Zebras, produced a worse-than-usual performance in their habitual Oar Dee Esh defeat, then scraped home against Munster.

Montpellier might come over with a disinterested B team, and will likely be thoroughly unimpressed with the weather in Belfast, but Ulster still will need a result (of some sort, to be decided after this weekend) in Welford Road. Now Leicester’s form is fairly uninspiring – they got fed a 40-burger by Globo Gym and have 1 loss (Quins) and two draws (Saints, Ooooooooh Bath) in Welford Road this year – but if you turn up without a pack that can compete you’ll struggle.

Without Johann Muller, with Gentlemanly Conduct’s Besty just back, John Afoa seemingly still on holiday mode and Fez still out, Ulster are low on the type of prime beef needed for the kind of #unseenwork that bonus points in Leicester are made of. Ulster will undoubtedly be glad to qualify, particularly after the draw they got, but they can’t shake off the Tigers (that last minute bonus point they got in Ravenhill felt crucial at the time) and a knockout game away from Ravers will feel like a disappointment, especially if it’s the last HEC. The stadium deserves a big game, but the team need to deliver, and, right now, you’d fancy Leicester. Until Ulster actually do it, the team with the history of delivering in these games must get the nod.

Meanwhile, Leinster travel to Castres for the sort of game that players and fans simply dread.  Castres are going well in the Top 14 and won’t get out of their pool in the HEC, so one might expect them to shrug a shoulder at this game, but the ‘spirit of the belltower’ (thank you Bernard Jackman) means they will be competitive at home no matter what.  Leinster fans still have nightmares over the defeat there in December 2008, arguably the province’s nadir and the game which prompted Neil Francis to give the team an unmerciful kicking in his column, replete with ‘ladyboys’ jibes and all.  These matches tend to be grind-a-thons and as a supporter you simply hope to come out the right side on the scoreboard.  Leinster must win or risk letting Northampton sneak ahead of them in the pool.

Munster travel to Gloucester in what is no longer a must-win but rather should-win game.  Glaws’ dire home defeat to Edinburgh has let them off the hook, and even if Munster lose here, a victory at home to Embra in their final pool game will almost certainly qualify them.  A win would go some way to boosting their chances of a home quarter-final, and they should be able to manage it.  They are showing an impressive ability to keep on winning even if they have yet to put in a single really impressive performance this season.  Who’d bet against them continuing the trend, and earning Rob Penney a 12-month contract extension – which seems pretty paltry given the job he has done (see above – top of the league, top of HEC pool withoiut really playing well yet – with limited resources).

That leaves Connacht, who should give the Zebras (another) seeing-to. The big game for them is next week when they must travel to Sarries, essentially with a view to keeping the score down.  Don’t say it too loudly, but Sarries have attempted to broaden their game this season and have racked up a bucketload of tries, and Connacht are just the sort of team they will seek to fillet with a blend of sledgehammer power and incisive running.  Their backline – containing the likes of Alex Goode and Chris Ashton – always looked like it could be a threat if let off the leash a little bit, and now it’s starting to happen.  Connacht will presumably have the patronising words of Stephen Jones ringing in their ears as they take the pitch.  Another performance in the vein of the Toulouse game will be required to emerge with a respectable scoreline.

B&I Cup Redux

When we broke up for Christmas (not Palla and I thankfully, you and us), we had reached what seemed like the end of the beginning of the HEC/RCC saga – the old HEC wasn’t coming back but what, if anything, would replace it was unclear. Since then, the already messy scene has tippled over into mayhem with the Welsh regions announcing their intention to stomp their feet up and down if they didn’t get their way opt out of the WRU participation agreement and join with PRL in a 16 team Anglo-Welsh league.

It is often said that Irish rugby is always in a great place even if the team never wins, but Welsh rugby is always in crisis even though they are always winning.  It’s never rung more true.

The WRU responded with a ‘meh’ and swiftly threatened to replace the franchises with, erm, four new, equally makey-uppey ones for the Pro12-Feet-Under – effectively North (never a rugby stronghold), East, West and .. er … Millennium Stadium. Riiiiiiiiight. However, outrage from the clubs and fans (both of them) have resulted in something of a rowback, and the union are working out how to get the genie back in the bottle.

Meanwhile, from what we can piece together, it appears the IRFU and SRU have taken a break from pinching pennies to meet the RFU and WRU for crisis talks – the power grab from PRL and intentional killing of the HEC have resulted in a proposal for a beefed up B&I Cup containing the 12 Premiership and ten Pro-12-Feet-Under sides … to be broadcast by … BT Sport! Heads you lose, tails I win.  We’re not exactly sure what has happened to the Heineken Cup run by the ERC, which all bar the English had apparently agreed to play in, but it appears to once again have fallen apart, presumably because of the Welsh defection.  Or has it?  Eddie O’Sullivan said on the recent Second Captains podcast that they still want to play in the European competition.  Confused?  You’re not the only one.

The PRL (and the Welsh regions) will bugger off on their own if this doesn’t come to pass. A season-long Anglo-Welsh Cup may sound beyond beyond dreadful, and who knows if it is even feasible (what happens when the Dragons get relegated?) but it may be an acceptable position for the English clubs if it is enough to trigger the lovely, lovely money BT Sport will pay them.  They have a powerful card to play to get the RFU to do their bidding – they sort of own the England players and the RFU are hosting the World Cup. If a schism isn’t avoided, England D, led by Luke Narraway, will be humiliated in their home tournament. None of the old farts want that.

[ Aside: unpopular and, on the face of it, pointless competitions might be unappealing for fans and annoying for coaches who have to manage their players’ fitness, but if they bring in money, who cares? Look at the Europa League – fans don’t give a hoot, managers hate the disruption, but TV money means it happens.]

The first thing missing in all of this is the French clubs, who appear to have played a blinder – they’ll probably get what most of them want, a Top16, and the English will get the blame. Mark McCafferty and his army of Stephen Joneses might bemoan the treachery, but he can hardly complain about self-interest when the PRL are interested only in lining their own pockets at the expense of whoever gets in their way.

The second is the Italian sides, and it’s not clear exactly what they’ve done to deserve being isolated like this.  Italy won two matches in the recent Six Nations and its development as a rugby nation should remain a key concern of European rugby. In the 3 seasons they have been in the Pro12, the national side has improved each year – 2 wins and 4th last year tied for their best outcome, and a points difference of -36 was their best ever by far, and shows improving competitiveness.  Besides, if nothing else, their involvement would bring the numbers from an awkward 22 to a more rounded 24.

So how will this impact the provinces? If the Anglo-Welsh contingent break away on their own, it’s terrible news – for everyone.  The Irish will dominate the rump Pro-12-Feet-Under (or should that be Pro8) even more than they currently do, if it even continues to exist. Ireland will correspondingly suffer with their players (those who don’t leave anyway) starved of competitive rugger. It’s a nightmare scenario, no question.  If the compromise B&I Cup happens, they’ll get two home games against reps of Perfidious Albion, which always gets Gerry’s syntax bubbling and fans’ goats up – that’s not as good as a full HEC, but it’s something, and the Pro12 will continue to muddle on.

That’s not to say they should row in behind the tournament on everyone else’s terms, and to date the IRFU have talked a commendable game on the importance of governance of the sport: it’s crucial they continue to uphold this principle.  The Anglo-Welsh fallback position is hardly the best hand to be going up against with issues such as relegation and promotion almost certainly not even given a moment’s thought as yet and for all the English sweet-talking to the Welsh, it’s hard to see what they can really bring to improve the Premiership.  The move looks like it’s designed to decimate the Pro12 more than build anything constructive.

This saga probably has a fair bit of mileage in it yet.  Lucky us.

PS. complaining about Stephen Jones hypocrisy is pointless, but he has really taken the biscuit in this saga. At Lions time, he breaks down in tears at mention of the amateur Corinthian spirit the concept embodies and takes potshots at the likes of Willie John McBride, the greatest Lion of all, for besmirching the idea with nationalism, then morphs into a red in tooth and claw laissez-faire money talks capitalist four-square behind the blood-sucking club owners of PRL. When rugby ends up with odious villains like Vincent Tan or dodgy tyrants like the owners of Manchester City and Chelsea owning the big clubs, we hope he’s happy.

Lots done. More to do

At this two-thirds stage of the last-ever HEC (in this form anyway), the Irish provinces are all in a reasonable position, and Ulster are best placed of the lot. That’s not to say they’ll all be feeling happy about the opening four games, and Leinster in particular will be pretty pissed off they lost at home to the No-Pressure-On-Them edition of the Northampton Saints; and that insipid performance in front of both fans in Murrayfield will likely cost Munster a home quarter-final, but with three wins both are expected to qualify.

Leinster would have looked at their trips to the Hairsprays and Franklin’s Gardens as odds-against trips – and the results and performances were excellent. The flip side has been the rubbish home form, which is a particular worry ahead of the Ospreys game. The last-minute concession of their bonus point against the Saints might come back to haunt them, particularly if it ends up consigning them to a trip to Toulon or Clermont.

In Munster, they will be hyping up talking about JJ Hanrahan’s try for a while to come, but it got them out of jail after a pretty average performance and a systemic defensive meltdown at the worst possible moment. But a win is a win, and it feels even better when it’s in France. But because of the aforementioned defeat to Embra, they’ll need to win in Kingsholm to even have a chance of a home quarter. It’s been done four times in the Premiership this season, by such luminaries as Sale Sharks, Wasps and Exeter, and once by Embra, so Munster shouldn’t travel in fear, and really should be able to navigate that trip. A low seeding and a trip to France might beckon, but that’s the stuff tears are made of, so how bad.

Up north, Ulster will bask in the glow of their 100% record over Christmas. Problem is, with Leicester’s win in Montpellier, they’ll probably need a bonus point in Welford Road (while losing by less than six) to get through, something that proved beyond them two seasons ago. If they don’t win the pool, they should still qualify, but by our reckoning they’ll be playing for home advantage in the next round. Incentive to give it a lash for sure, and they are much better than they were two years ago.  However cloudy the future of the competition, Leicester will play every game they face at full throttle, and their last-minute victory was tribute to their never say die attitude. They are a worthy adversary, and have much to admire. Even though they haven’t won the pot in 11 years, they have been eliminated by the eventual winners five times, the runners-up once, and big-game bottlers Clermont twice – if Ulster can win this pool, they are contenders for the trophy.

As for the province we get most-accused of being biased against, Connacht can retire from the HEC happy that they have their memory to dine out on for years to come. They’ve had quite a few oh-so-nears away from home in their few seasons in the elite competition, and its well-deserved. Some of the minnows add nothing (looking at you Zebroni), but Connacht have been consistently competitive and the Sportsground has translated well to games with big teams, and Saracens.

Predictions for qualifier rankings:

  1. Toulouse
  2. Ulster
  3. Toulon
  4. Clermont
  5. Munster
  6. Leinster
  7. Leicester
  8. Globo Gym

Now that that’s all gone, we have to talk about Leinster. A most disappointing and worrying performance – the last-minute withdrawal of Sean O’Brien left them without any effective carriers and the Saints managed to tackle Leinster backwards almost every time. When the Saints ambushed Ulster in similar fashion last year, they produced the physical template that Globo Gym used to administer the knockout blow in the quarters. Leinster better hope that they have O’Brien and Cian Healy fit for any trip to France in the knockouts, or it’s curtains.

Still, they nearly won it right at the end. When Kahn Fotuali’i sacrificed a penalty advantage to drop a goal with over a minute left on the clock, we smelled a mistake. All the Saints needed to do was go through a few more phases, then take the full minute to kick a penalty and the game was won. The decision to nick the drop gave Leinster the final chance they needed and they were incredibly close to punishing Fotuali’i for it. Small things add up at the highest level, and the likes of Leicester, Leinster, Munster, Toulon, Toulouse would never allow their opponents another chance in such situations.

Bonanza!

If indeed the Heineken Cup is to be recast as a tin-pot version next season, we’ll miss weekends like this one.  An absolute bonanza for Irish rugby, topped off by the most remarkable result in Connacht’s history.  Leinster were entitled to think the Monday headlines would be given over to them, but they were upstaged.  It goes down as arguably the biggest shock in Heineken Cup history.  While Toulouse are not the force of yore, they’re still pretty good.  They beat Saracens away in the previous round and are second in the Top Quatorze.  Connacht had been in the midst of a horrendous streak and are below Zebre in the Pro12 log.  Where the hell did they pull this from?  Connacht-watchers might have expected them to use the away game as a mission in damage control, before dialling up the intensity in the Sportsground.  But Connacht cleary had other ideas.  They’ve taken everyone, perhaps even themselves, by surprise.

To put some context in that result, it’s only about two generations of Irish rugby since celebrity Munster fan Mick Galwey stood under the posts in Toulouse imploring the lads to keep it to 50. Back then, at the dawn of professionalism (and the HEC), Munster were about as good as it got in Ireland, and they couldn’t keep the score below 50. Now, Ireland’s weakest province (please don’t be offended) can go there and win. That is incredible.

The question – as always – is whether they can back this up.  Asking them to beat Toulouse a second time in a row might be a bit much to ask, but it should at least give them the belief to get some wins in the Pro12 and work their way off the basement place in the league.  Their star turn appears to be scrum half Kieran Marmion, their busy scrum-half who was unlucky to miss out on a debut cap this autumn.  He could come into consideration in the Six Nations but those who watched Leinster on saturday will have noted that Eoin Reddan looked like a sort of rugby genius.

Which brings us to Leinster, who were superb.  It’s worth rewinding to October, when we put up a couple of posts expressing concerns over the direction in which Matt O’Connor was bringing Leinster.  Thankfully, we left room for an optimistic scenario:

“The optimistic scenario is that Leinster are still operating with a patched-up backline and once O’Driscoll and Fitzgerald – who looked very threatening when he came on – are fully restored to the team that there will be more emphasis on attack and putting the ball through the hands.  In the meantime, O’Connor has tightened up a defence that was more than a little creaky last season, and that focus will begin to shift to attacking and Leinster’s fabled gainline-passing.  One hopes Ian Madigan will be trusted to do some of the playmaking – after all, he’s awfully good at it when given the chance.”

Well, thank heavens for small mercies, because it looks to have come to pass.  The rugby played by Leinster against Northampton looked suspiciously like Schmidt-ball, with an emphasis on gainline passing, varied attacking patterns with inside-ball and wide passing mixed to devastating effect, as well as an almost feral approach to clear-out with those arriving at the ruck driving beyond the ball.  Throw in exemplary ball presentation and it was a near-perfect performance.  It all combined to serve up Eoin Reddan with silver-platter-ball, with which the flaws in his game vanish into the ether and he appears world class.  His speed of thought and deed were too much for the bewildered Saints. Mind you, we’ve said before that these Saints are no-one’s barometer of manliness – this is the third successive occasion at the Gardens where an Irish province has left with 5 points.

What’s remarkable is how in the space of a couple of weeks all half-empty glasses are suddenly brimming over.  After the Australia game all was miserable in the heart of Irish rugby.  Now, options appear everywhere.  Rhys Ruddock looks like yet another – another! – option in the backrow, playing as if to the manor born.  Rob Kearney is looking like his old self.  Gordon D’arcy has gone from a bust to a boom.  Luke Fitzgerald is back!  Keith Earls is back among the tries.  Some excitable fans were even calling for Sean Cronin to start ahead of Rory Best.

Up in Ulster, Paddy Jackson looks like a proper outhalf – his development since his harrowing Ireland experiences in March has been excellent, and he now takes on more of the game management from Ruan Pienaar. And, speaking of Ulster, when a 7-try romp over a team that has given Ulster problems in the past becomes a footnote, something must be going right, even allowing for the relegation of Ulster in Irish rugby minds (should we call this the “Cave Factor” going forward?).

PS. While getting annoyed about celebrity Globo Gym fan Stephen Jones is about as futile as it gets, we must take issue with his latest.  We won’t even go into the laughably uncharitable tone of his Northampton-Leinster write up, but his assertion that refereeing outside England is ‘terrifyingly bad’, with reference to Nigel Owens, who refereed this game, was so far wide of the mark as to be abhorrent.  For a start, the example he cited was just plain wrong.  He claimed Owens didn’t see the miles-forward pass by Cronin, but Owens could clearly be heard saying ‘we’ll go back and check it’ as Luke Fitzgerald was jogging over the line.  And as if it needs saying, Nigel Owens is widely, and rightly, regarded as the best official in world rugby (not best-looking mind, there are some things Steve Walsh just won’t lose).  Still, though, perhaps it’s reassuring: with Jones no longer able to claim a natural superiority for the English clubs over the Irish provinces, he has now turned trained his wobbly aim on the Pro12 referees.  Deary me, what an unedifying sight it is.

Y’know, Rugby Matches and That

What’s all this, then?  Actual rugby matches between provincial and club sides throughout Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England, Italy and France?  Sounds like an intriguing prospect.  This lark might even catch on.  Northampton vs. Leinster?  Perpignan vs. Munster?!  This sounds bloody fantastic.  We want MORE of this sort of thing.  Certainly not less of it anyway.  Or some diluted version involving the Portuguese team (‘Except you Julian Bardy, the only player anyone has heard of, you have to play for Clermont’) making up the numbers.

It’ll be a merciful relief to get back to the reliably invigorating business of the Heineken Cup.  The preliminary rounds seem so long ago at this stage, with the November series and the endless wranglings in the interim, it almost requires an effort to remember exactly how it’s all poised.  Did Munster really lose in Edinburgh?  Good Lord, they did!  And what a result from Ulster to sack Montpellier on their own turf.  Leinster find themselves two-from-two and Connacht have a win over Zebre and ran Saracens to the last play in their first game, prompting a hilarious tweet from Stephen Jones trying to convince everyone – including himself, presumably – that it was a comfortable win for Globo Gym against the ‘non-elite’ Connacht.  How quaint all that posturing seems now.

All of which brings us to the glorious double headers, often the highpoint of the calendar.  Is there any fresh way to say they often decide the outcome of the pool?  Probably not, but who cares – they do.  You can cough up a cheap loss in the first two rounds, but only if you atone for it here.  The good people at ERC, or Sky, or wherever these things are decided by tend to orchestrate the schedule so the two big boys in each pool cross paths in the back-to-backs, so winning both legs isn’t always a requirement, and simply coming out on top in match points is often enough.

That’s certainly the case with Leinster, who have had a curious season so far.  Having won in Ospreys, they made heavy weather of Castres at home but the pool qualifier will come from this match-up in any case.  A bonus point on the road will be enough to keep Leinster in the hunt, providing they can win at home.  Northampton can be odd, though.  Last year they surrendered meekly at home to Ulster, apparently sealing their fate, before improbably turning the tables in Ravenhill of all places.  Ben Foden’s injured though, and he provides their creative spark.  Over to you, Courtney Lawes, to inflict the damage.

Munster have a different set of parameters.  They arguably need to win both games, having lost to Edinburgh in a disastrous opening match.  They have the home leg first in what has come to be known as – thanks Gerry – the Sunday mass slot.  It’s often lamented, but we have few memories of them playing particularly badly in it and they should have the goods to beat Perpignan in Thomond Park with a bit to spare.  The acid test will be trying to go down to the Aime Geral and getting a win.  It’s a daunting stadium, but Perpignan themselves don’t intimidate too many teams these days; they currently lie 9th in the Top 14 and Munster are certainly capable of winning there.  Last time they went there nobody fancied them at all, but they were rampant.  Tomas O’Leary was on fire and Donnacha Ryan came off the bench to announce his talent on the big stage. Perpignan have a monstrous pack and a wonderfully creative outhalf, but, of all the French teams in the HEC, they are probably the one you would want.

Ulster have the easier part of their assignment.  They’re in a great position after beating Montpellier, and should be looking for nine points as a minimum return against a Treviso side that hasn’t really picked up where they left off last season. The natty Italians have a habit of making life awkward for Ulster, but got spanked in Ravers earlier this year – Ulster will be pretty confident of snagging 5 points on Saturday, and should have the momentum to grind out a win away. Those 9 points should more or less wrap up a home quarter-final … assuming no flakes like last season’s home loss to the Saints.

And don’t forget Connacht, who play Toulouse, who aren’t quite the – yaswnsville – ‘aristocrats of Europe’ these days, although they did win away to Saracens, which has seen them installed as favourites to win their group.  Connacht will struggle in the away tie, but will certainly be targeting a rousing performance at the Sportsground.  It’ll be Toulouse’s second visit to the dog track, but the hope that the less than salubrious surroundings will put the Toulousains off their stride proved hopelessly wide of the mark on their first, and Connact – enduring a pretty hopeless season and rock bottom of the Pro12 as it stands – will be in need of some sort of miracle to come out with a win.

Dead Parrot Sketch

So, its come to this. The French clubs are back in the fold, helped by a shove from the union, their long-term intentions as unclear as ever – they said the RCC fiasco was a way for them to get what they wanted, but we aren’t sure what they actually want.

  • More money? Seems unlikely – French clubs earn more at home. It would be nice, but hardly a reason to join McCafferty’s revolution. Unless its all about permanently de-stabilizing Europe – that would earn them more money – see option 3 below.
  • Less Rabo teams? Well, the structure sans les Rosbifs is apparently the entire Rabo league, 6 Frenchies and 2 composite whipping boys from Spain and Portugal, with the Amlin Vase gone. Pretty unsuccessful way to make qualification more meritocratic (should that be “meritocratic”? Not sure)
  • Top16? This is what we think. Discredit and destabilize Europe enough that a Top16 becomes a safety line for French clubs. Playing the long game

With the pliant UK media going as overboard as ever (the Grauniad didn’t report on the French clubs leaving on Thursday, then headlined it on Friday with “French U-turn jeopardises European rugby” – yeah, its the French who have done the jeopardising…), PR have air cover for their intransigence, with little public questioning of their strategy and long-term ambitions (bar Martyn Thomas calling for McCafferty’s head on a plate). And little detail  on the minutiae of the BT contract either.

The increasingly woeful utterances by PR are an embarrassment to English rugby:

  • Its us and the French!
  • Its us and the Welsh!
  • Its us and the South Africans!
  • Its us and … er … financial oblivion!

Its basically the Dead Parrot Sketch – this RCC is very much alive sir!

McCafferty’s latest is to insist the English aren’t coming back and is being reduced to saying the Premiership will be better as teams can play all their players instead of saving them for Europe (I thought it was only Rabo clubs that could do this?).  The risk now is the unhappy Welsh regions actually try and force their unions hand and try and join an expanded Premiership – its what they want, and it might actually make them financially viable.

The situation is still pretty fluid – a HEC with 12 Rabo teams and some PIGS seems unlikely to work, and PR aren’t going to go away. PR aren’t completely isolated yet, the RFU are reluctantly yoked to them, and the Welsh clubs are enthusiastic about games against English clubs. Bottom line for Ireland – short of the English coming back to the fold unconditionally, nothing is good news.

Its unclear how European club rugby will look in 5 years, but if there is a Top16 and some Welsh clubs in the Premiership, Irish rugby will struggle massively – Eddie wrote a nice piece on the questionable long-term benefits of Irish provinces dominating the Pro12. The HEC has been a stunning success in the last decade, but, paradoxically, that has alerted the English and French to the market for more and higher-quality rugby. If you can’t beat the Irish provinces on the pitch, why not remove their lifeline to top-class rugby and tempt the players to join your clubs?

The parallels with soccer in the 1990s are increasing – the governing bodies never directly conceded to a European super league, but the clubs pushed the envelope so far on Champions League expansion, they got one by proxy. The RFU and WRU can’t ignore the next tier of rugby in England and Wales – the Great Schism of nearly 120 years ago is still hard-wired into rugby union administration (recall professionalism was conceded to avoid loss of control 100 years after the first schism) and splits will be avoided at all costs.

This isn’t really about the HEC, its about power and money – the bell might have been rung on the HEC, and, as Eddie would say, you can’t un-ring it. The prospect of expanded French and Anglo-Welsh competitions might have moved a little closer – lets hope the Irish don’t end up relying on the Scots, Italians and the rest of Europe for games. We’re no closer to a long-term resolution, but the danger signals for Ireland remain at DEFCON 1.

Scapegoat!

If there is one man in Ireland who its easy to dump blame on, it’s Tom Court. Court joined Ulster in 2006, aged 26, with a little bit of Super Rugby experience. Back then, he played both sides, but ended up specializing on the loosehead side, and has blossomed (if that is the right word) into a very competent and useful player. He has been one of the standout looseheads in the last few years of Heineken rugby and has been a major factor in Ulster’s pack becoming the best in the Pro12.

He has wracked up a few Ireland caps as well – 32 to date – and got a Lions call-up, albeit a fortuitous one. But Court’s international career will be remembered for one thing – the demolition of our scrum at Twickers in 2012 when he came off the bench and played out of position. This narrative is hugely unfair – Court had soldiered manfully, a diligent filler-inner, providing cover from the bench for both sides of the scrum when needed, yet got dumped on when he needed support.

In a way it was understandable – Court is Australian and you won’t get anyone building him up in the media or pencilling him into the team, especially ahead of a domestic-born yeoman who agent is prominent on certain TV outlets. The man himself was dropped out of the Irish 23 for last years Six Nations for Dave Kilcoyne, but came right back in when DJ Church was on the naughty step – Kilcoyne might have been the better impact sub, but Court was clearly the better man to start.

And now Court is on his way and has joined Reading Samoa (we’ll have to stop calling them that – they are Irish-ing up to the max with iHumph, TOL, Jamie Hagan and now Court) on a 3-year contract. Our feeling is that Humph wasn’t for budging and for a man of his vintage (he turned 33 earlier this month), three years is a good deal, but it fits with how his Irish career has gone – and we wonder will Ulster not know what they had until it’s gone.

So where does it leave Ulster? And what about Ireland? Ulster first – they have two looseheads behind Court – Calum Black and Paddy McAlister. McAlister would be the better-known and was certainly the better prospect, but hasn’t returned from injury since coming on in the HEC final in 2012. Calum Black has stepped in and has done ok, without troubling Court. It would be fair to say neither are mapped by Joe Schmidt at present.

Which brings us on to Ireland. Here is how we would see the rankings of internationally mapped Irish looseheads right now:

  1. DJ Church. No competition
  2. Jack McGrath. Vaulted Killer Davecoyne in the squad pecking order due to some impressive performance this season, and was MOTM on his debut (albeit slightly romantically from Wardy – we’d have picked the much-maligned/warrior-who-never-takes-a-backward-step – delete as per prvincial leanings appropriate – POM).  Appears to be second in command.
  3. Tom Court. Sure, he might be easy to drop, but remains arguably the second best scrummaging loosehead against all but the most technical opponents.  Still in the picture.
  4. Dave Kilcoyne. The well-connected Munsterman did a good job for Ireland off the bench last year and looked to be progressing nicely, but hasn’t started the season as well. You probably haven’t heard, but Frankie is his agent.
  5. James Cronin. Highly exciting youngster, who impressed in a high profile cameo against Leinster. It will be interesting to see how he finishes the season – will he take Killer’s shirt?
  6. Marcus Horan. Wait, off that, Deccie has gone

So, as of next season, the odd man out Court will be sunning himself in Lahn. Well, in Reading. Which will leave the best four looseheads in Ireland playing in Munster and Leinster. If this were Australia, and the best four looseheads (I know, right, Australia having FOUR whole looseheads is a bit of a laugh, but bear with us) were playing at the Reds and the Brumbies, one of them would just be told, in no uncertain terms, he was a Waratah now.

The IRFU have talked a good game to date about the next step after banishing foreigners from rugger was to spread talent through the provinces better, most recently in Cummiskey’s uncharacteristically excellent interview in the Irish Times excellent November rugger magazine last week. Time to see if they will put their money where their mouth is. Peter Nucifora, if it is actually he, might have an input here too – and he probably won’t be recommending queueing them up in Munster and Leinster.

We think / have been told that while Healy and McGrath are contracted through next year, both Munstermen will be out of contract at the end of the year – Cronin will surely enjoy an upgrade on whatever he is on now if his upward curve continues, but how would Frankie feel about his other client being offered, say, a central contract … with Ulster. Can you imagine Dave Kilcoyne fitting in in Belfast? With Munster currently in some financial woe, perhaps that might be his best option. Unless he goes to London Irish too.

All The Rugby

“They didn’t play any rugby” Matt O’Connor, of Connacht, who Leinster had just narrowly beaten, 26th October 2013.

Leaving aside the unedifying nature of the Leinster head coach’s remarks about Connacht and turn that on its head. If Connacht didn’t play any rugby, then Leinster played all the rugby on the night, right? Sheesh – if that was all the rugby Leinster will play, they are in trouble. Saturday seemed to herald reality setting in around the Oar Dee Esh – Leinster are really in transition now, both in terms of personnel and gameplan. And grace of the head coach, but that’s another matter.

We have blogged about this recently, but it seems more real now after two successive home games in which Leinster played desperate rugby against two limited teams (apologies to our Western friends and any freaks who follow us in Castres).

The Scooby Doo ending after the Milky Bar Kid swanned off to Lansdowne Road to be biased in favour of Leinster players (© C. George, Cork) was that Matt O’Connor would come in, hand local favourite Ewan “Ian Madigan” Madeegan the keys to the house and continue to play the intelligent and incisive offloading and running game that Schmidty used to conquer Europe. After all, when he was hired, ‘continuity’ was the keyword bandied around by the bigwigs upstairs.  Sure, results might decline a little, but we’ll still get to the HEC/RCC (delete as per status on the financial-oblivion-o-meter) knock-out stages and the Pro12 playoffs, they said.

Now, they might still do that, but it seems they will be doing it the down and dirty way. There was a lot of pointing at Leicester Tigers try-scoring record and the surprising sight of Oooooooooh Manu Tuilagi eschewing running into someone to find actual space  when O’Connor pitched up in D4 – but the Tigers are the masters of the pragmatic and are fundamentally a team of tough forwards. O’Connor’s Leinster will be using route one as their base, and possibly adding baubles when the appropriate time comes.

And this is rankling a bit with the D4tress faithful [Aside: can one be faithful if not from Munster? Maybe faithful but not brave. Or something. JOKE] who have gotten fat on a diet of spellbinding tries and Europe-conquering under Schmidty. Don’t forget, when Cheika came in with a mandate to toughen up the pack who had been eaten up by the Liginds, there was plenty of discontentment about the grim style he adopted, even while it was acknowledged that his job was to start with the forwards. And the 2008 league win would have been a platform for absolutely nothing had they lost to Munster in *that* game in 2009.

They were rank outsiders for that game for a good reason. They had played a huge amount of dross in Europe that year – a limp defeat in Castres and a dire try-less drudge against Embra in their final game. The reason Leinster had to travel to the Stoop for the quarter-final was that they had qualified as the lowest-ranked group winner, in spite of a perfect start where they were on ten points after two tricky games – and then when they got there, the combination of manic defence, Quins butchery and a minor miracle got them through. The Liginds were a far superior team that got ambushed. And the rest, as they say, is history.

The functional league win and Stoop game have become part of the narrative, but it’s easy to forget how unhappy many Leinster fans were with the rugby being played by Cheika.

It’s easy to sympathise with O’Connor – he has an impossible succession job: his best player has left, his best remaining player is being heavily linked with a move to France, and the best player in Leinster’s (and Ireland’s) history has a maximum of twelve-ish games left in blue should he stay fit. Tough gig by anyone’s standards. But no-one at all expected Leinster to end up playing like this so quickly. Hopefully it’s a passing phase (the first this season in blue – lolzers) but it’s funny how quickly a decline can kick in – 21 months after the Munster Rolls-Royce cruised over the Galactico Ospreys side, they were a rabble being beaten senseless in Toulon and looking way, way over the hill. Leinster fans will hope that, if they do plumb the depths of those results, they at least do it while playing decent rugby. Right now, that doesn’t look a good bet.

No-one Like Us, And We Don’t Care

There was a time when Ulster were Irish rugby royalty – back in the 1980s they ruled the provincial roost under Jimmy Davidson and routinely accounted for large swathes the Irish XV. Allegations of pro-Ulster bias in selection resounded, and Munster were particularly seen as doing badly out of selection toss-ups.

But the situation has changed, changed utterly. Davidson (deposed in 1990) was the last Northern coach of Ireland, and, since professionalism, the growth in the game in Ireland has been driven by the southern provinces, in particular Munster, who remain the darlings of fans and media alike. And whyever not – much more fun to write about the storied Ligind pack than Clinton Schifcofske and Kieran Campbell. Plus Munster and Leinster were actually good – 1999 aside, Ulster have been muck for most of the professional era.

In recent years, Ulster’s potential for growth (from, er, the “other communities”) and hard academy and structural work has begun to pay off – the young players coming up are of the highest quality and are being managed well. The fact that the only four players (Marty Mooradze is close to becoming a fifth) from the Aviva Opening Game playing regular professional provincial rugby are not only Ulstermen, but Ulstermen challenging for Ireland shirts, says a lot.

But Ulster haven’t seemlessly moved back into the royalty zone – in fact, they get routinely patronised by the Irish media. When they went down to Thomond for the HEC quarter-final in 2012, Gerry said “Ulster are the better team, but Munster are the better province”. As they say in the parlance of our times, I was like wtf? And this weekend, when they beat Montpellier on their own patch by 17 points, an improvement of 57 points on Clermont’s most result there and 42 on Toulouse’s, the headlines were about Munster’s humdrum win over Gloucester B. ‘Munster Back on Track’ was the Sunday Times front page headline.  Munster were the first team mentioned in the RTE news item, while Ulster got a cursory mention, described as having ‘kept their hopes alive’ with their win.  Kept them alive?!  Bloody hell!  Had either of the southern powerhouses produced such a result, you can guarantee gushing and drooling coverage.

Old habits die hard, and, to be truthful, Ulster won’t really mind for now. Their bloodlines might be blue, but every Northerner has a deep well of bitterness to draw on – they have been the most impressive Irish province in the HEC this season by a mile, and are set well for another long challenge. If they get underestimated by their chums in the southern meeja, great, someone else to prove wrong.

The inevitable next stage in the chip-athon will be in the November internationals.  Ulster fans have grown well used to their players missing out on marginal team selections in recent seasons, and will be getting their sense of outrage ready for the occasion should, say, Gordon D’arcy be preferred to Luke Marshall.  It seems unlikely though, and there’s good news elewhere.  Paddy Jackson has made up significant ground while Madigan’s progress has stalled and although Iain Henderson is being deployed only as an impact substitute, there’s no reason why Ireland shouldn’t employ him in the same role; his wrecking-ball cameos off the bench have been stirring.  The rampantly in-form Tommy Bowe and Rory Best are certain starters.  The grantite-hard hooker’s throwing may never be better than a C+, but his work rate around the paddock is extraordinary, and against both Leicester and Montpellier he was an immovable object at the breakdown.