The Cordite Awards 2014

Its been a pretty mental year – Ireland are genuine RWC15 contenders, the provinces are rubbish (except Connacht), Andrew Trimble is an automatic selection for Ireland, Dylan Hartley did something admirable and Wales actually won a game against a Southern Hemisphere side (and naturally became RWC15 favourites right away). Here’s our awards:

Man of The Year: Joe Schmidt – ten games, wins over France, South Africa and the Wobs (hard fought, thought victory and slihghtly fortunate respectively), one piece of silverware, only one loss; and a fresh broom. No pressure, but two pieces of silverware needed next year.

Male of The Year: Steve Walsh – who else. This time for saying “nice pass, mate” to Willie le Roux

The Awesome Power: of the Bath three-quarter line against Montpellier in round 4 of the ERC – Banahan, Burgess, Joseph and Rokoduguni. Oooooooooooooooooooooohhh!!!

Scapegoat of The Year: Jerome Garces, and his contentious red card for Jared Payne in Ravers against Globo Gym, was blamed by Gerry for … Ulster’s rubbishy ERC start. A campaign that included, from Day One in Leicester … er, Jared Payne.

Straw Man of The Year: when asked if it was right that naturalized NIQs such as Jared Payne played for Ireland (in the presence of CJ Stander), RTE’s Michael Corcoran said “well, if you look at how passionately Richardt Strauss sang the national anthem, that shows you he much he wants to play for Ireland”. Right – that’s what counts – and that’s why the anthem-mumbling Brian O’Driscoll was dropped after one cap. Wait a minute, what?

Most Relevant Phrase of The Year: return to traditional Munster values

Strange Correlation of The Year: Axel Foley’s facial hair growth versus clamours for JJ Hanrahan to be picked

Emotional Roller-coaster of The Year: Ulster fans, wailing and gnashing of teeth when Humph announced his departure, were thrown into raptures when Shane Logan welcomed Cowboy back from his holidays with a P45. Things haven’t quite gone to plan since, but the imminent arrival of Kissy suggests good times ahead. Just not now.

Dark Clouds on The Horizon: the Clermont partnership of Parra/Lopez/Fofana looks capable of derailing Ireland in RWC15. Camille Lopez reminds us of Barnesy – he looks completely out of shape and uninterested, but sets the team afire. Let’s hope Remy Tales is the Rob Andrew to Lopez’ Barnesy.

Player of The Year: Conor Murray

Quote of The Year 1: “That’s a mile forward. Aw man”. Triminjus, after Ireland were dependent on the TMO to rule out a French try for a (needless) forward pass. His nerves weren’t helped by the ensuing scrum, where the Gods smiled on Ireland and a penalty wasn’t awarded. It ended well when Ireland won the Six Nations a couple of phases later.

Quote of The Year 2: “Toulon are looking to sign Richie McCaw, and we’ve brought in Clive Ross. No disrespect to Clive Ross, but …” Think you disrespected him there Fez.

Happy Christmas and enjoy the interpros. See you in 2015 for a pointless debate about how the fact that there is no such place as Saracens means a Munster win in Allianz Park is inevitable.

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  1. Joe

     /  December 18, 2014

    Now, now lads. I think we all know the real quote of the year…

    “Love me or hate me. I don’t hate anyone. Peace and love. I just don’t like cunts.”

  2. Bueller

     /  December 18, 2014

    Another contender for quote of the year, for Alan Quinlan at the site of Will Skelton:

    “I wouldn’t want to be sharing my dinner with that fella!”

  3. Yossarian

     /  December 18, 2014

    No late entry for the brewing “spoilt Leinster fans” debate who still had 38,500 show up despite knowing the inevitable dross that was going to be served up?

  4. Leinsterlion

     /  December 18, 2014

    The Wealdstone Raider award for best angry face: Peter O’Mahoney

    • osheaf01

       /  December 19, 2014

      The Mystic Meg award for best rugby analysis/prediction: Leinster Lion and his Best Team in Europe, Stade Toulousain.

  5. ruckinhell

     /  December 18, 2014

    The Beamish Award for Consistency in a World Gone Mad has to go to LeinsterLion. Even when O’Mahoney is being lauded around the world for top class performances (made the PR team of the year,25883,3551_9609699,00.html ) he can still find fault with POM.

    Never change LL!

  6. Province of the Year should really go to Connacht for their start to the season so far. Just give it to them before the interpros potentially derail things!

    No mention for Joe’s ultimate manliness in out-manning his appendix and then writing back to all his well-wishers seems a chance missed too.

  7. Pet Peeve of the Year: the staggering amount of pundits who mispronounce Joe Schmidt’s name

  8. D6W

     /  December 18, 2014

    Potential “back from the dead” award brewing. There is talk of Kidney taking over at London Irish.

    • Scrumdog

       /  December 18, 2014

      The unimaginative ‘bosh’ rugby will suit Kidney.

  9. @eoinredahan

     /  December 18, 2014

    The English media’s Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil Award: Chris Robshaw

    • osheaf01

       /  December 19, 2014

      That’s Dylan “Bites your finger” Hartley, surely?

  10. On a serious note lads, I dunno is Lopez all that. Plenty of shite penalty kicks over the Munster double header and I wouldn’t necessarily be buying into the ‘Clermont are bigger contenders this year with Lopez at the helm’ argument. Fact is they’ve always looked the best team in Europe every year during the group stages, and looked even better in years gone by with Bottling Brock at 10. Won’t be making any judgement on Lopez until the end of the season (though either way most French players will probably have the game of their lives against Ireland in the WC anyway!)

    • I like Lopez largely based on the fact he seems like he’d be a good dinner companion. It’s how I judge most people though. Steak, red wine, you’d have a great time

  11. Would have thought Gopperth would have been in contention for Scapegoat of the year. Entrant for Most relevant phrase of the year in the home game against Scarlets, on seeing the tip tackle of Liam Williams on Ludik, Rory Best remarked “was that not what you gave a red for last year” ref replied ” that was last year”. Alternative Quote of the year from Fez “Ulster Rugby have been going on about this war chest of money”.

  12. Riocard Ó Tiarnaigh

     /  December 18, 2014

    Whinger of the year (by a country mile): Matt O’Connor.

  13. @decbreen

     /  December 18, 2014

    You left out email of the year…

  14. Hairy Naomh Mhuire

     /  December 19, 2014

    And the IRFU Bean Counter award for French benefactor who will bank-roll our most important player while he plays feck all rugby in preparation for a busy world cup year goes to………..

  15. WoC, in case you missed it, here’s an interesting comment that appeared attached to the’s yesterday article “‘People will write what they write’ – O’Connor defends Leinster’s season” from Cian Walker (spelling/spell checker mistakes in the original – r):

    Was speaking to one of the players in the squad during the week and he confirmed sobering I’d been guessing for a while: the players have been getting together and making their own plans whenever they’ve put in decent performances (think Northampton and Glasgow) because once MOC speaks he says things like “you ony need max. 2 in to clear a ruck”. This is why ball presentation (crucial to traditional fast Leinster play) is so slow lately.

    I’ve worked under so many stubborn managers in my career and they’ve all have that determination not to change their minds in common.

    • D6W

       /  December 19, 2014

      That is interesting. Those two matches were completely out of character for MOC’s Leinster. I’m woould not be at all surprised if that was found to be the case.

      • D6W

         /  December 19, 2014

        Also, with Sexton now out until France game, I wonder will orders come down to MOC to play Madigan at 10.

        • We live in hope!!!! Whether or which I still hope Gopperth has a good game tonight and we send those Connacht pretenders suitably chastened back across the Shannon. Maybe with Jenno back our pack might start rumbling again. COYBIB!!!

          • D6W

             /  December 19, 2014

            As a Leinster Season ticket holder, that is my official position also. But deep down, I always want to see good adventerous rugby rewarded, so…

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